#Haven’t made one of these in a while damn

[livbedum]

THIS COULD BE US

I DO NOT GET JEALOUS

ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ topper’s birthday was practically made out to be a national holiday on the island. you had gotten your mother to lend you the yacht , having a more intimate party earlier for dinner. rafe and kelce set up the condo for the actual party. everything was going smooth. until it wasn’t.

word count 5.8k

warnings profanity , jealous!reader and kinda jealous!rafe , mentions of chlamydia , underage drinking , pda ( just kissing and grabbing ) , smut ( oral male!receiving in car , oral fem!receiving , unprotected pinv , spanking (1) , facial ) , and i think that’s it

MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY

IN TOPPER fashion , his birthday party has a theme and dress code. white party , white clothes , white fucking yacht. and because it was his birthday , and he was one of your best friends , you gave in to every single demand he had.

he wanted a dj? done. he wanted the men to women ratio at a happy 1:3? done. he wanted a specific dish created by a specific chef from the mainland? done. he demanded a bouncer to stand at the front door of rafe’s condo for hours just so no ruffians get inside? done.

you were busting your ass to make sure his birthday was going perfectly , and you were doing a damn good job. good enough that it made you think you wanted this exact party for your own twenty-first. you had lost track of him once or twice already. dinner just finished , and he went missing again. grabbing a drink of your own , to relax a little bit after how much work you had been putting into this one night.

“look at miss event coordinator. i know you’re not drinking on the job,” kelce joked , walking up to you with rafe as you sipped your gin and tonic.

“it’s my boat. i’ll drink when i want,” you retorted , side hugging the boy before moving to rafe and hugging him as well, “do you think top’s enjoying himself? he keeps disappearing.”

“oh yeah. he’s enjoying himself alright. enjoying himself with ruthie , chloe , harper , and i think he’s enjoying himself with tabitha right now,” rafe chuckled lowly , taking a swig of his own drink to hide his suggestive smile.

you theatrically gagged , smacking rafe’s arm. “you’re all disgusting. this is my mom’s boat,” you groaned, “i expected you not to fornicate on it.”

“like you haven’t?” kelce quipped , recalling the time you and your ex boyfriend had gone at it so rough one night you had to replace the railing on the sun deck.

“my boat!” you huffed , giggling with them as they laughed at you.

“well , i came over here to let you know we’re good to dock whenever top is. house is all set up,” rafe cleared his throat , seeing topper emerge from the cabin, “there’s the birthday boy!” he cheered , calling topper over.

“guys! i have gotten four separate blowies. this is the best birthday ever,” he slurred his words after he wobbled over to the three of you, “y/n/n , you’re the best for planning everything for me,” he smiled , pressing a slobbery kiss to your temple.

you smiled , discreetly wiping the spit from yourself before wrapping your arm around his waste. “you only turn twenty-one once,” you shrugged, “you ready to go to the actual party?”

“oh , for sure! maybe i’ll get laid four times!” topper laughed , dapping kelce up all the while.

“you’re all pigs!” you scoffed lightly , making your way to the helm, “be back!”

the guests that were scattered around moved to let you walk through without asking , and not long after that you were all headed back to figure eight. you and the boys helped topper off the boat and back onto solid land , his stability not getting any better. the sun hadn’t even set , so you knew in a few hours he would be passed out in one of the guest rooms at rafe’s condo.

it wasn’t long until the house was filled with people. the music was going , playing all of topper’s favorite songs along with the party classics. everyone was drinking and having fun in celebration for topper , and you couldn’t be happier.

for one : you pulled off what looked to be the best twenty-first birthday in kildare. but more importantly , you could stop hosting and have fun yourself. your wedges smacked against the marble flooring as you made your way to the bar. “can i have a tequila soda with a lime? and just a shot as well , please?” you ordered sweetly , silently thanking the bartender for coming to you first despite other people waiting for drinks.

he handed you the shot first , allowing you take it before you got your drink. you throw the shot back , letting it glide down your throat without getting you to make a face. the bartender smiled at that , mixing your drink quickly.

you turned around , leaning against the bar after thanking him. your eyes scanned the crowd. people dancing in the living room , suck and blow happening in the kitchen , swimming and chicken fights in the pool. everything looked good. everything was good.

except you didn’t have not one of your boys with you. you looked around for kelce or rafe. you had seen topper stumble upstairs with a pretty redhead a few minutes ago , but you hadn’t really seen rafe or kelce since you told them to check on a few things before the party even really started.

your brows furrowed , truly not seeing either one. but the crease in your forehead deepened when you found rafe. he was lounging on the couch , legs spread and arms on the back. he was in a group , a couple of guys you knew from school , and a few girls you recognized as well. you watched from a distance , sipping on your drink slowly. you noticed how crystal— if you remembered correctly , was laughing harder than need be , touching rafe’s body in any way she could.

and you don’t know what you would call it— it was jealousy , but something in the pit of your stomach burned. your skin felt hot , your eyes rolling all on their own. because there rafe was hanging out with people that weren’t you when your song was playing. the track made the playlist several times because it was your song. and he wasn’t even looking for you?

“can i get another shot please?” you turned around and asked the bartender. he nodded , pouring one out before sliding it to you.

you downed it easier than the first , setting the glass back down on the counter before drinking the rest of your actual drink. you pivoted on your foot , heading straight toward the couch. like usual , people shifted to the side to let you pass. even if they hadn’t , you weren’t too sure that you wouldn’t have run them right over.

rafe saw you in his peripheral , saw you storming over in your comically— to him , high wedges and silky , white dress. your tits practically jumping out of the material as you stomped.

he looked up at you and smiled when you arrived , but was quickly taken aback when you planted yourself in his lap. his arm came down to wrap around your waist naturally , but during his movement , your own hands came up to his face and pulled him in for a kiss.

you didn’t know you were going to do that. originally , in your head , you were just going to storm over and pout. this was much different than that. but rafe didn’t hesitate to kiss you back , hand on your waist squeezing your body closer to his. he groaned into it , tongue licking your lips before you opened your mouth.

neither one of you were aware how long you were making out when you pulled away , breathing heavily in each other’s faces. until crystal— still you weren’t too sure , cleared her throat.

“oh , hey!” you smiled , leaning into rafe’s touch. his cheeks were still burning from the shock of you traipsing over to stake your claim. he knew what it was the moment he saw the pout in your lips.

the girl was blushing on her own , not realizing that you and rafe had finally gotten together after years of being just friends. “hi,” she muttered awkwardly.

“did you end up taking care of that raging case of chlamydia yet , babes?” you asked , voice sweeter than syrup. crystal— presumably , dropped her jaw , eyebrows tight.

“excuse me?” she scoffed , shocked you would say something like that , but more shocked that you knew.

“oh , did i get that wrong?” you fake worried , hand coming up to your heart, “i thought i heard les and gigi talking about it at the club a couple weeks ago , but maybe it wasn’t you?” you flipped your hair over your shoulder , showing her that you truly didn’t care.

maybe you were a mean girl like everyone said.

“no,” she stated coldly, “it wasn’t me.” she stood up , grabbing her purse and phone before rushing away.

you smiled as soon as she turned , not bothered by her leaving. that was the whole point.

“ooh , you’re mean , pretty kitty,” rafe chuckled beside you , his other hand coming to your thigh and rubbing up and down.

he always called you that. kitty. he said it was because you had claws but looked so sweet at the same time. you harassed him for having a pet-play kink until you realized the term of endearment was quite cute. special just for you.

“what?” you shrugged , looking at him like the last thing you said wasn’t fowl, “i made it up , but i guess the topic hit home for her , so it’s probably best she left anyway.”

rafe rolled his eyes with a smile before grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you in for another kiss. you squealed into his lips at the sudden movement , body shifting in his lap. your hand landed on his chest to catch yourself , and you let your body melt into his.

“you all jealous i’m not paying attention to ya , kitty. green isn’t your color,” he told you , pulling back from the sloppy kiss.

you sat back , offended he would ever accuse you of such a thing. “that’s not true , rafey. you know that,” you whined , lightly— barely at all , hitting his chest in protest of his statement.

“which part?”

“all of it,” you decided with a firm shake of your head, “i do not get jealous , and i always have your attention,” you added , leaning in for another kiss, “and i do look good in green.

“i know , i know. the elusive y/n y/l/n never gets jealous,” rafe played along , kissing you gently as his hand slid further up your thigh, “but i do.”

“what do you mean?” you hummed , moving your lips to kiss at his face and the side of his neck now.

“saw the bartender making eyes at you,” rafe murmured , sighing at the last kiss you planted right behind his ear, “the help was eyeing you.”

“it’s the twenty-first century , rafe. we don’t call them the help anymore,” you reminded him with a roll of his eyes and another inch of skin discovered by his hand, “and besides , i wasn’t focused on him. i was watching you.”

rafe smiled , heart beating faster when you so openly said that he had your attention. of course as friends , you always let the boys know how much you loved and appreciated them. but this was different. this was just for rafe— no one else.

“you missed our song,” you mumbled into his neck , not wanting him to hear that you were disappointed in your voice.

“i was singing along in my head,” he assured you , running his hand up and down your back.

you sighed , taking in the feeling of his hands on you , the warmth they spread throughout your body. “since i’m not allowed to talk to the bartender , will you go get me another drink , rafey?” you asked sweetly , only shifting your head a little bit to let him hear you clearer. you also translated his earlier jealousy of the bartender to making it clear he didn’t want you around him again. that’s how it usually went.

“whatever you want , kitty,” he agreed , pressing a kiss into your temple before tapping you leg to get you up.

rafe stood as well , now towering over you. his drunken smile making him look even better than he did before. you smiled back at him , batting your lashes before he rolled his eyes and yanked you in for another kiss. “don’t make me wait long,” you warned him , ending the kiss and ushering him to the bar.

happily , you sat back down to wait. your solitary peace was quickly disrupted by kelce and topper flopping down next to you.

“four blowjobs and one fuck! best birthday ever,” topper congratulated himself once again , hair messy and lips swollen.

“you’re such a slut , top,” you laughed , getting more comfortable now that you and rafe were most likely hanging out in the living room for longer, “what did you do pop a v?” you joked , causing both boys to laugh like he had in fact taken a viagra.

“speaking of slut…” kelce began with a cheeky little smile. it said he knew something juicy , and topper was all over it.

“what? who fucked who?” he asked , wanting to know exactly what happened and when and where and why.

kelce laughed , nudging you gently. “miss penthouse over here was mackin’ on our boy,” he sold you out , grinning ear to ear, “thought it would never happen.”

“and i missed it?” topper whined , throwing his head back and resting it on the couch, “i always wanted to be there the day you and rafe got together.”

you frowned at topper , feeling oh so bad for him until you flicked his throat , causing him to sit up straight and cough. “you’re a perv,” you stated, “and you too , kel. didn’t know you liked watching.”

“oh , i’d watch you do just about anything , baby,” he flirted , knowing it would make you roll your eyes. that’s how you and the boys were. they flirted with you jokingly ; you called them pigs. it was your dynamic.

“you’re not watching her do jack shit from now on,” rafe spoke , smacking kelce upside the head as he handed you your full glass. you got up , letting him take his place before falling into his lap.

kelce laughed , dapping his friend up. “man , you know i’m not going anywhere near your girl.”

“excuse me! i’m still a human being,” you interrupted, “actually i’m one of your very few friends. please act accordingly,” you playfully reached out and punched his arm.

“so who’s taking who’s last name?” topper asked , grabbing a beer that was sitting on the table and chugging it. gross.

you grimaced at the sight. “maybe you should focus on not drinking random drinks , t,” you suggested , feeling rafe’s hand creep up your thigh again , drawing small patterns on the plush skin.

“i’m the birthday boy. i can do whatever i want!” topper roared , throwing his hands up in the air triumphantly.

“you’re gonna get roofied one of these days,” you shook your head.

“here’s hoping! it’d probably make my night ten times crazier,” topper laughed , finishing the beer and setting the cup back down.

the four of you sat and chatted for a bit , appreciating the time you weren’t being bothered and you could simply enjoy the party. rafe had been pressing kisses into your skin , making his way from your shoulders to your neck while topper and kelce dove down their own conversation.

“we should go,” he whispered just loud enough for you to hear before nibbling at your ear, “soon.” he lifted his hips up with you still in his lap , making the hard on in his slacks known.

you turned in his grasp , giving him a knowing look. “i don’t hookup with boys on the first night,” you reminded him.

“this isn’t the first night,” rafe corrected you , moving some of your hair out of your face and behind your ear, “i’ve been thinkin’ bout this forever. by myself , with other people , when i’m with you. it’s not the first night for me , and i can guarantee it isn’t for you either.” he made a very fair point.

you hummed , taking it into consideration. “but it’s topper’s birthday,” you reasoned , looking over just as he and kelce went outside to the pool. the blonde jumped in , splashing people with the water before coming up for air and yelling out. the crowd cheered as kelce joined him.

“don’t think he’s too worried bout us leaving,” rafe commented , looking at the way topper already had a girl in his arms to make out with.

you pushed yourself up from rafe’s lap and the couch. rafe scrambled to get up , thinking that you were about to leave without him. “c’mon then,” you spoke , grabbing his hand in yours and leading him away from the party. the closer you got to his car , the quieter everything got. like being with rafe silenced everything else. it did for you.

like always , rafe opened your door for you , letting you get settled into the seat designated for you before shutting the door and getting in himself. it took a decent amount of time to get to the hotel. rafe lived on figure eight , which was the more local side of the island. you lived in your penthouse on the more west side of the island , where all of the tourons got off the ferry and onto the sand.

rafe never minded the drive , knowing it was helping you out. but tonight? he was speeding in an attempt to get there faster.

his hand was gripping your thigh , kneading it in his grip. it slipped under your dress about halfway to your place , pinky finger reaching out to touch the delicate material you wore beneath it. he didn’t do anything more though.

it wasn’t like him , but he wasn’t about to finger bang you in his car. you weren’t that type of girl to him. you weren’t a quick fuck he met at a party. no , you were his girl. and his girl deserved more than that. at least the first time. maybe tomorrow he would suggest it on the way back to his house.

but you had had enough of the teasing and gentle touches. with a roll of your eyes , you unbuckled and shifted in your seat to face rafe entirely. your hand reached over to his own lap , tracing the outline of his boner.

“and what’re you doing?” rafe questioned with a smirk, “hm?”

“it’s a long drive , and i’m bored,” you answered plainly , undoing his belt and pulling the zipper of his slacks down, “so i wanna kill some time. that okay?” you looked at him with those big eyes , and he had this exact dream not that long ago , so of course he wasn’t going to say no. especially not when you were already pulling him out of his briefs.

“do whatever you want to me , kitty cat. m’all yours,” he nodded , thrusting his hips up involuntarily when your hand started pumping him.

you hummed contentedly , leaning over the center console to take the tip of him into your mouth. you pressed a sweet kiss to it first , licking your lips clean of the precum he was dripping with , and when rafe whined , you knew you would do this every day of your life moving forward if you could.

you sucked at the tip , hand still moving up and down in tandem with the suction before slowly taking more of him in. you didn’t mind the fact that his hips shifted up every once in a while , forcing you to take him further. you liked it , liked knowing he couldn’t control his body.

“fuck , baby. mouth feels fuckin’ perfect,” rafe moaned out , removing one of his hands from the wheel to the hem of your dress. he flipped it up , exposing your panties to the ac of his car before his fingers trailed down to your center , feeling the wet patch that had taken property of the material.

you moaned when his fingers applied pressure , encouraging you to take him down your throat entirely. your nose brushed against the hair at the base and your throat contracted around his cock , almost causing you to gag before you hummed and pulled off of him. your hand kept up its ministrations , spreading your spit around as you twisted your wrist , earning a solid smack on your ass.

maybe he would fuck you in the car.

“want you to cum in my mouth , rafey,” you admitted , looking at him through your watery lashes for just a moment of eye contact before going back down to his lap and swallowing him again.

“keep going then , baby. so close,” rafe groaned , pulling your underwear to the side to truly feel you, “got yourself all worked up just from sucking my dick?” it almost came out humorously , but it wasn’t that. rafe was just so gobsmacked that you were this wet from a few touches and kisses.

you hummed again around him , bobbing your head up and down fast , taking him all the way each time. it was a lot , but it wasn’t anything you weren’t completely willing to handle.

“fuck , fuck,” he grunted , removing his fingers from your needy clit to reach the top of your head. he didn’t push you down any further , just held you there for a moment. “gonna cum , baby. you gonna swallow it all for me like a good girl?”

you nodded around him , feeling the first few drops of his release land on your tongue before the rest came flooding your mouth. you tried to pull back , needing more room in your mouth for the load he was dispositing there , but he held you head firm. “stay right there,” he moaned , the after shocks of his orgasm hitting as his cum started to spill from your mouth and run down the length of him.

you blinked away the tears and did your best to breath through your nose until he let go of you. his hand returned to you , rubbing and gripping at your ass. you immediately pulled yourself off of him , gasping and swallowing his cum before leaning over again to lick him clean.

“fuck! you’re so good,” rafe laughed , guiding your head up as he came to a red light. he adjusted himself back into his pants before looking over to you. your mascara had started to run a little , roughing up the sleek edge you always tried to maintain. you had spit dribbling down your chin that you were wiping at. “prettiest thing in the obx,” he added , moving to press a kiss to you lips.

you whined into the kiss , shifting to be as close to him as possible. “drive faster,” you said against his lips , needing him now more than ever.

just like that , the light turned green , and you both thanked the universe. that was a good sign.

the light wasn’t too far from your place , so the drive was only a few more minutes. during that time , you readjusted yourself , conjuring up your image again like it was nothing. you didn’t even look like you just took rafe’s cock down you throat. luckily , that was the goal. you didn’t want you mom to find out from the concierge that her daughter was a whore who gave boys road head before taking them up to your suite and having your way with them.

no , she wouldn’t approve.

soon enough , rafe was parking in your designated parking spot near the entrance of the hotel. he didn’t waste any time before jumping out and rushing to let you out of the truck as well. you kissed him politely when he did out of thanks.

your hands found each other again as you lead him inside the hotel. he had been there hundreds of times , but the adrenaline running through his veins and straight to the tent in his pants was different. he wasn’t coming over to hang out with you or to pick you up. he was staying over because you had finally kissed him. after years of wanting you and pushing that greed to the side , he had you. you were his.

and no , neither of you said it , but you both always knew. you more subconsciously than him. he was painfully aware of his feelings for you , and he was okay with waiting. because look at where it got him.

a hello from the front desk and a sloppy makeout in the private elevator later you were entering your home.

you walked into the kitchen , knowing rafe would either follow you or go straight to your room. you grabbed a couple of water bottles and headed to the bedroom , which rafe did choose over the kitchen.

“making yourself at home?” you chuckled , setting the waters down on your bedside table as you took in the sight of rafe getting comfortable in your bed.

“what? you gonna kick me out?” he laughed with you as you made your way to him , crawling up the bed to straddle him.

“never,” you whispered , leaning in to kiss him again. this one was the softest of them all , the slowest more sensual one of the night.

rafe’s hands found purchase on your hips , pushing your down into his own for friction. you both groaned at the feeling , not breaking the kiss.

“you done talkin’ to girls at parties?” you asked him , pulling away and swirling your hips as your hands rubbed at his chest.

his eyes were closed , head fallen back in the satin pillows. “never liked ‘em anyway,” he nodded , fingers tightening on your waist when you moved just right.

“i mean it,” you reiterated , slowing your movements.

“me too,” rafe assured you , sitting up and holding onto you, “they were never you. never could be,” he whispered , kissing you gently again before flipping you over, “you done flirting with bartenders?”

“i never have,” you giggled as he nipped at your neck , grinding his hips into yours.

“then i think we can agree , it’s just me and you,” rafe’s voice came out shaky— whether it was the nerves of exclusivity or the way you felt under him.

your smile widened as you tilted your head. “is the big bad rafe cameron asking me somethin’?” you teased him as he pulled away to look at you.

“kitty,” he began , his own smile forming if it ever truly left. you bit your lip in anticipation. you knew rafe , knew he couldn’t ask you what he wanted.

“it’s fine , rafe,” you nodded meekly, “promise.”

and ignoring the pinch in your stomach , you pulled him back in for a kiss that he dodged to make his mark on your body.

“sorry” he mumbled into your skin , biting and sucking at your neck down to your collarbone, “i wanna. i promise,” he spoke so softly , moving lower and lower down your chest, “but you know you’re my girl , right?” he looked up at you as he slid your dress up to your stomach. his fingers traced the hem of your underwear , causing you to take a deep breath in. “right?” he echoed , hooking his fingers to pull them down your legs.

“yeah,” you nodded , waiting for him to touch you again. his kisses started on your thighs , holding them open as he moved your legs over his shoulders.

“good girl using your words,” he chuckled , sticking his tongue out and swiping it through your folds once slowly before sucking your clit into his mouth. your head fell back , jaw open to let out a whiney moan , one you’d been holding in all night.

you knew about rafe and his experience. you knew because you were best friends who told each other everything. with that in mind , you had no clue he ate pussy like a starved man , like you were oxygen and he had been underwater for too long.

when he slid a finger into you , you tensed up a little , not expecting the stretch yet. “relax , baby,” he chastised you , diving back in to mouth at your clit to get you to let your muscles untense. and god , it felt good. too good.

“fuck , fuck! rafe , stop. stop , stop,” you rushed out , pushing his head away from you , and he immediately pulled away and sat up.

“what’s wrong?” he worried , searching your face for anything.

you giggled , pulling him in to kiss you. “i want you to fuck me,” you told him , hand going to the tent in his pants again, “that’s what we came here for , right? so fuck me so i can come on your cock,” you whispered in his ear.

the man didn’t waste any time. he tore his pants off , slipping out of his shit just as fast while you undressed yourself , giggling the whole time.

“what’re you laughin’ at , kitty?” rafe asked despite chuckling with you as he found his way back on top of you. he left his hand guide himself to your entrance , promptly stopping any laughter coming from your lips. he slid his cock through your folds , up and down until you were whining.

“rafey…” you sighed , using your leg hooked around his hips to pull him closer.

and he couldn’t deny you any longer. not with that look on your face. not with the cadence of your voice. not with how wet you were. as rafe slid himself in , completely to the hilt , you both groaned in sync. he paused , stilling inside of you to give you both a second. lord knows he needed one. “you okay , baby?” he asked gently , kissing at your neck. he still hadn’t moved , breathing deep.

“mhm , want you to fuck me,” you nodded , maneuvering to kiss him on the lips. your tongues fought for dominance as you made out , rafe’s hips starting to move.

his thrusts were harsh— deep and hard. the type that forced moans out of your mouth with each one. your head thrown back gave rafe the chance to mark your neck more. he grunted in your ear , hot breath hitting your skin as he gripped so tight on your hips he was sure there would be bruises there too.

“you’re so fucking perfect,” rafe moaned , holding himself up to fully look at you, “pretty fuckin’ kitty , wanting me to fuck you so bad , huh?” he was smiling the whole time. he moved around , sitting back and pulling your legs together. he kissed at your calves , slamming into your faster harder than before.

your mouth was left open , moans and whines and borderline screams flying out freely. “fuck! so fucking deep , rafe. feels so good,” you babbled , hands gripping the sheets in your hands.

“yeah? you like that , baby?” he grunted , wetting his thumb with his tongue before moving it to rub at your clit in time with his thrusts, “squeezin’ me so tight,” he moaned , letting his head drop back in ecstasy just for a moment before focusing again.

“i’m so close! right there , right fucking there!” you alerted him , hands coming up to grab at your tits.

“ahh , that’s it,” rafe hissed , not changing a thing he was doing, “cum on my cock , baby. fucking cum for me.”

his words only helped throw you off the edge. you squealed , moving you legs down from his shoulders in an attempt to get away from his assaults as you came down.

rafe didn’t stop though. no , he just grabbed your thighs and yanked you back toward him , continuing to fuck himself into you throughout your high. it was when your moans turned from pleasure to the smallest amount of pain from the overstimulation that he pulled out.

breathing heavy , your eyelids dropped as you tried to come back to reality. that idea was short lived as rafe flipped you onto your stomach.

“i’m not done yet , baby,” he warned you , adjusting the way your body was splayed on the bed. once he had you the way he wanted , he straddled your thighs. he jerked himself off a couple of times and sheathed himself back inside you.

your body welcomed him with ease , letting him slide into you with no push back at all. “fuck,” you groaned , burying your face in and holding onto your pillows.

rafe took that as a sign you were ready and began fucking into you again. he didn’t hold back this time , using your body the way he wanted. but there was a certain moan you heard come from his lips along with a stutter of his hips that reminded you he wasn’t wearing a condom.

your hand flew back to his hips , pushing him out of you before you rolled yourself onto your back. “come on my face,” you blurted , panting with him. he ran a hand down with a groan his face before shifting up your body. his thighs pushing your tits up as he jerked himself off in front of you.

your hand replaced his , still wanting to be the reason he finished. you stuck your tongue out and closed your eyes when the first few drops hit your skin , squeezing a little more until he was coming completely undone.

“fuck , kitty. yes , yes , yes,” he whimpered , gripping the back of your head and bringing your mouth to his dick again, “take it just like that. yeah,” he grunted , cock twitching in your mouth as you drained him.

when rafe felt like he could move again , he shifted to the side , clambering off of you. “fuck!” he panted with a laugh , placing his hands on the side of your cum covered face and kissing you. you moaned into it , tasting both him and you on your tongues.

he pulled away and slid off the bed , leaving you to go into your bathroom. you were left on the bed , eyes closed and chest rising and falling. the silence was deafening , only being able to hear your breathing and a high pitched ringing.

“rafe , will you grab—“

“i gotcha,” rafe assured you , coming back into the bedroom with a wash cloth and your makeup removed, “c’mere.”

you pushed yourself up , and rafe sat next to you. he gently wiped at the white stains on your face , making sure to get all of it off. “prettiest girl in kildare. i’ll say it for the rest of my life,” he cooed , boyish grin on his face as he finished getting the last of cum. you peeked one eye open with a smile to look at him , checking if he was done.

rafe wasn’t looking at you when you checked , too busy pulling out a makeup wipe , so you shut your eyes again , waiting patiently as the blush started to creep up on your cheeks. “oh , kitty. no blushin’ after all of that!” he teased you , starting to remove the makeup on your face.

“m’not,” you huffed , smile breaking back out on your swollen lips.

“you’ve always been a shit liar,” rafe muttered , shaking his head as he got the last of your makeup, “there. now you’re even prettier.” his compliment was sealed with a kiss while you rolled your eyes.

“will you pass me the water?” you croaked , realizing how dry your throat was after you tried to swallow.

he nodded , grabbing both bottles. he unscrewed one , handing it to you before opening his own and chugging more than half of it. you let out a short laugh at the sight , sipping on your own.

“still know where you��re clothes are at?” you asked him , assuming he was staying the night and not wearing the dress pants and shirt while he did so.

“don’t need ‘em,” he shrugged , climbing under the covers before dragging you back with him.

a/n lol i stay lying to y’all bout when n what im finna post:) but comment to be added to this taglist! <3

[lives-between-lines]

We gave our time to something undefined - poly!marauders x slytherin reader

─

Summary: Everyone is back from summer break and the rumor mill is buzzing about a certain Slytherin, can our favorite Marauders provide a bit of comfort during trying times?

Notes:  I’m so sorry about how long this took! I honestly wasn’t sure where to go next with their story, so it took me a little fiddling but I’m happy with the direction I landed on and I hope you are too. 

Tags: Angst, fluff, traumatized Slytherins, pureblood elitism, slightly mean!reader

Words: ~8.3k

p.1 p.2

─

I hated summer. It was too hot and there was too much down time stuck with my parents. Maybe if they let me actually visit my friends more, or leave the house for more than an hour at a time I could enjoy it. Maybe if I could have a hobby that was just for leisure and not something else that I had to dedicate countless hours to being perfect at I could have a bit of fun. Instead my summers were occupied with studying to get ahead for the next year, going to stuffy formal events where I recounted how well I did on each of my OWLs, and listening to my parents drone on about all the accomplishments of their friends’ kids. 

One special cloud loomed over me as I stepped away from my parents at the train platform and toward a few months of freedom, but I shook it out of my head and focused on getting to my friends as quickly as possible. 

Having taken one last glance back at my parents, I wasn’t watching where I was going and walked straight into the stiff, muscled back of one James Potter. He turned around and I'd be damned if he didn’t smile at me like we were great friends. My brows furrowed as I scowled at him.

“Hey! I haven’t seen you since─”

“Quite a while, I’m sure. If you’ll excuse me,” I sharply interrupted him. Then I shouldered past him before he could say anything else. I knew what he was going to say, and I knew that I did not care for Potter loudly announcing to the entire platform about our encounter over the summer. Even the small interaction just now brought more attention to me than I particularly wanted. 

Andromeda stood just outside one of the train doors and we made eye contact. As I neared her, she glanced back to where I presumed James still stood. “What’s his deal? He looks a bit like a kicked puppy.”

I frowned at her, but forced myself not to look back. “How should I know? Let’s get to our seats, my feet are killing me.” 

One of Andromeda’s eyebrows ticked up at me in suspicion, but she led the way to our usual compartment. 

─

I sat amongst my friends, quietly observing as they recounted their adventures, or similar lack thereof. A part of me felt like a snake had coiled itself around my neck, a heavy weight that wouldn’t let up. 

“Are you feeling quite right?” Narcissa asked me about halfway through the trip. I looked up at her, startled. Suddenly all of the girls in the compartment were staring at me. I tried to take a breath and couldn’t. I opened my mouth to respond and words failed me. 

“Has something happened?” Andromeda asked, her hand reaching out for mine. I jerked away just as a knock sounded at our door. Everyone’s attention was quickly redirected, except for Andromeda who gave me a weary look before turning to see who had interrupted whatever had been about to happen. 

My heart dropped to my feet when I looked up to see Evan Rosier smirking at me. I willed him not to say anything that would inform my friends of the deal our parents had made this summer. It was as if he could read my thoughts at that moment, and knew exactly what to do to rile me up. 

“I believe the snack trolley is making its rounds and I do feel obliged to offer my inamorata whatever her heart desires,” he says with a self assured chuckle. 

The girls look rightly confused before glancing to me and seeing the way I glowered at Evan. 

Andromeda lets out a disbelieving laugh which causes Evan to frown slightly. “What on earth do you think you’re going on about?” 

“Our betrothal of course.” Evan holds out his hand to me. I glare at it until he drops it back to his side. “Oh, don’t be like that, my dearest. Our parents have made the deal and set the date for the second we graduate.” A series of gasps sound around me. 

Arranged marriages weren’t abnormal in our society, they just weren’t often arranged with people as young as Evan and I still were. To plan to be wed as soon as you graduated was unheard of. 

I shoot daggers at Evan for taking yet one more thing out of my hands. I decided in that moment that I hated him. I absolutely hated him and if I truly were to marry him I would make our marriage a living hell for him just as it would be for me. 

“Well. I suppose I’ll leave you all to your gossiping and wedding planning then.” He gave me one last smirk before finally excusing himself. I wanted to scream at him and rip his hair out. I wanted to hex him clear off the train. I wanted to curl up on the floor beneath my seat and hide from the world as I cried out everything I had been carrying with me. 

Instead I sat frozen in place as everyone else simply stared at me. 

“Please tell me that’s not true. You can’t truly be engaged to Rosier. Why on earth would your parents ever arrange such a thing?” Narcissa asked. 

When I swallow it feels like gravel tearing down my throat. “It appears that our parents have decided we would make an advantageous pairing.” It’s a piss poor answer, but it’s the best I can offer. 

“Well I suppose you should be grateful it’s Evan and not his widowed grandfather,” Phoebe Parkinson giggles. The others are quick to agree and start highlighting all of Evan’s so-called dreamy qualities that will make him a great husband. 

As I sit there I can’t help feeling upset that they aren’t mad on my behalf. 

─ 

Two weeks into the school year and the entire school has been murmuring about what I must have done wrong for my parents to plan to get rid of me so quickly. Of course no one wants to ask me anything directly, and Evan has been feeding the rumor mill every chance he got despite my efforts to limit my interactions with him. My friends act like nothing has happened, having gathered quickly the subject was not open for discussion. 

Walking into the Great Hall for breakfast every morning I catch myself looking for something, though I can’t seem to figure out what. 

In the hallways Evan tries to walk me to class and carry my books or hold my hand. I see girls giggling that he’s such a sweet boyfriend and I want to scream at them he’s not my boyfriend. 

In classes he enchants notes to fly to my desk which only serve to get me in trouble with the professors.

At meals he makes a show of placing food on a plate to give me before making one for himself.

One time in the common room he tried to massage my shoulders.

Every bloody chance he gets, he parades around like the perfect boyfriend, making me look like a heartless villain every time I shoot him down. 

─

A little over a month into the school year and people have finally started to move on, but I still feel the weight of their looks when I’m forced to sit next to Evan in class. He’s nothing if not persistent, never giving up his ostentatious displays of “affection.” 

It’s a Thursday evening after classes and I managed to shake Evan when I disappeared into the library. I have a stack of books up to my shoulders as I move through the shelves back to the table I had secured. I think I see a ruffle of golden brown hair turning one corner as I turn the other, but I brush it off. I hadn’t seen anyone worth studying with in the library yet this year.

I make another sharp turn and stop dead in my tracks. I’m frozen in shock and I don’t know why because I don’t care. It doesn’t hurt my feelings, or make me mad, or even feel like an inconvenience at all. 

Rosie Connelly jumps away from Evan Rosier, who in turn pulls his hand out from under her shirt. When he turns to face me he looks perturbed until he realizes it’s me. He’s quick to smooth a pacifying smile over his face, likely ready to say something truly dense. 

I stare back at him, blankly, waiting for whatever his idea of a good excuse is. 

“Well we’re not married yet,” he finally says with a sort of self-pleased laugh. And that truly does me in. I swing so violently from pissed off to heartbroken that this is what my parents want for me and back in a matter of seconds. Evan seems about ready to say something else despotic when his face suddenly falls. “Oh, shit,” he mumbles, looking past me. 

I turn to see what has been able to elicit a more reasonable reaction from him at having gotten caught making out with someone he isn’t currently betrothed to. Of course it’s none other than Phoebe Parkinson. A rather nice, well-mannered girl in our year who only happens to be the world’s nastiest gossip. 

I let out a dejected sigh. There’s no threat in the world that could keep her mouth shut for more than five minutes. 

Without a word I storm past her, leaving behind a situation that is only going to exponentially complicate the future my parents plan for me. 

I manage to navigate back to my table, set my books down without toppling any of them, and take my seat. It’s only when I hear someone clear their throat that I look up and come out of my numb daze.

Remus Lupin’s golden brown eyes meet mine and I nearly miss the way he subtly licks his bottom lip. He opens his mouth to say something, then pauses as he analyzes my face. His face drops at whatever he thinks he sees, seeming to be suddenly unsure of himself.

If he isn’t going to say anything, I will. “What do you want?”

He cringes. Okay, maybe it came across a bit harsher than I meant. 

I take a steadying breath. “Forgive me, how can I help you?”

“Dove, you look like shit,” he says bluntly. I gape at him. 

“Well excuse me, it’s not everyday the bastard my parents are forcing me to marry is caught feeling up some Hufflepuff slut by the world’s nastiest gossip,” I snap at him. 

The shock on his face satisfies an angry part of me. A part of me that just wants to lash out at everyone for how bullshit the whole thing is.

Another part of me, the part that cares about Remus, the part that remembers he called me his friend, feels a bit kicked. 

I suddenly struggle to meet his eyes anymore. Instead I choose to stare down at my hands. It feels a bit cowardly to tear into him then turn in on myself. 

I see his hand move in my view, coming close to but not quite touching my hands. 

“What do you say we get out of here? Get some fresh air?” He offers quietly.

“Er─ yeah that sounds nice,” I choke out. Remus hesitates for only a second before loosely wrapping his hand around my wrist. It’s merely a guiding touch, but I could cave at how gentle it is. 

I’m vaguely aware that Remus is guiding me toward one of the courtyards. My thoughts spiral as I wonder what my parents will have to say about the latest development between me and Evan. Would they break things off with his parents? Would they blame me for not playing his blushing bride to be? Would they continue to punish me and make me uphold the arrangement? What would people say about me if I still had to marry him? What would people say if things ended? What would my parents say if people began to pity me because of this?

“Would you like a bit of chocolate, dove?” Remus interrupts my racing thoughts as he guides me to sit on a bench next to him.

I look over to him. My friend. 

“It may not solve all your problems but it can certainly make them feel less daunting,” he explains.

“I think I might be sick, actually,” I say weakly. 

He frowns at me. “Maybe not, then.”

We sit in awkward silence for a few moments. 

“So it’s true? What people were saying about your parents making an arranged marriage with Rosier’s parents?” He finally asks.

“Yeah…”

“Did you even like him?”

“No.”

“Why would your parents make you marry him?” He sounds frustrated on my behalf.

“We make an advantageous pairing,” I murmur the same response I’ve given anyone else who has ever asked. 

“The bloody hell does that bullshit mean?” He scoffs.

“It means I only got an acceptable on my divination OWL,” I say so softly he may not even hear. The way his brow furrows tells me he heard and is still miffed. “I’m a failure and an embarrassment to my family. The only success I can find in my future is as a house-wife, serving an actually great wizard.” My words are void of emotion, merely an echo of the vitriol that was spewed at me by my parents. 

Remus looks actually hurt by what I’ve said. I give him a smile I know is nowhere near convincing.

“Dove, please don’t tell me you actually believe what you’ve just said,” he says, cautiously. 

“What does it matter if I believe it or not? What choice have I ever had? I must do proud by my family. I had one chance to prove myself and I wasted it. I can’t embarrass them like that again, but now Rosier’s gone and soiled everything.” I feel absolutely hopeless. 

“A passing grade on a tremendously difficult test is not an embarrassment. Your family is bloody insane if they truly believe that.” Remus sounds exasperated with me and I hate to think I’ve let down someone else.

“You lied, Remus,” I whisper.

“You have infinitely more than just one chance to prove yourself, you have a million every day,” he continues, ignoring what I’ve said.

“You lied,” I murmur again.

“Your family should be embarrassed for saying such backwards things about your future success,” he grumbles.

“Remus…”

“And if they truly think Evan bloody Rosier is meant to be a greater wizard than you? Well. They are─”

“You lied!” I nearly shout at him. 

Remus looks offended at my outburst. “I’m quite certain I’ve done no such thing, not to you anyhow, but please do enlighten me.”

“You said it would be okay if I wasn’t perfect. You said things would turn out okay.”

He seems at a loss for words.

“It’s not okay, Remus. Things are very much not okay,” I get choked up as tears well in my eyes.

“Oh, dove,” he sighs. Before I know it he’s pulled me into a hug. The dam inside me breaks and I begin to sob into his shoulder. He holds me closer.

Eventually I begin to calm down, at least enough that Remus pulls away and begins to wipe my tears. 

“Darling, I’m terribly sorry that things are looking dreary, but I don’t believe for one minute that this is truly to be your destiny.” He pauses. “In fact I know that things will turn around for you because you are strong and capable and a very, very powerful witch.”

I look up at him, feeling forlorn. “I don’t feel strong and capable and very, very powerful, though. I feel… defeated.”

Remus pulls me into another crushing hug. There is one thing that I am becoming very aware of and that is how powerful of a hugger Remus is. He smells like cinnamon and firewood and with how firmly he holds me I feel as though I can relax and I won’t completely fall apart. He rubs circles between my shoulder blades and I nearly melt into him. 

“You are not defeated,” he whispers to me in a serious voice. “I simply will not allow it.”

I pull away to look into his honey brown eyes. They hold so much warmth in them. 

“You take your time, build yourself back up. But don’t you for one minute give in and accept your parents words as the truth. You are too wonderful to succumb to their hate.” I try to stop the tears that spring back into my eyes. “James and Sirius and I will help you, you know. With anything.” I give him a weak smile and start to politely brush it off. “No, I’m serious. Anything you need, dove, we’re here for you.”

“Thank you,” I mumble.

The dinner bell starts to chime. I clear my throat and start to gather my things. 

“I suppose I should probably─”

“If you’d like to, we could─”

Remus and I speak at the same time. We pause and a grin wiggles onto my face.

“I─”

“Sorry─”

We do it again and I can’t stop from laughing at us.

Remus’s eyes shine with mirth as he mimics zipping his lips shut.

“No, you go ahead,” I urge.

“Well I was just going to offer if you’d like me to grab James and Sirius and we could have dinner together, maybe out here even.” He seems uncharacteristically shy as he asks. I consider what it might mean to skip the Great Hall and all the rumors it will be turning tonight. It’s very tempting, but I’ve never been one to back down from some hearsay spread by bored teenagers. And I certainly don’t want anyone to think I’m hurt over Evan’s actions and hiding from them.

“I really appreciate the offer, and it is very tempting, but I should probably face the music.” 

He seems dejected for only a second before masking it. “Right, I understand.”

“My friends likely have plenty to say about matters and avoiding them doesn’t usually go the way I’d like,” I further explain. 

“Of course. I can certainly relate to that.” He gives me a knowing smile. 

He starts to reach for his own bag. “But perhaps─” I stop myself, uncertain of what I even want to say.

Remus watches me expectantly. When I don’t say anything further he prompts me. “Perhaps…?”

“Perhaps we could─ you, me, Sirius, and James that is─ well… We could meet out at the lake after dinner?” Suddenly I’m the one who’s gone shy. 

An almost smug smirk seems to settle onto Remus’s face. I fear for a second he’s going to make fun of me.

“That sounds great, dove. I’m sure they’d love to.” The smile he gives me is genuine.

“Great,” I say, trying to keep my voice even. I don’t know why I’m suddenly nervous. “I’ll see you out there after dinner, then.” 

Remus nods in confirmation. “I can’t wait.”

We stand to part, me to go clean up before going to dinner and him likely to go find his friends. 

“Oh, err─ just one request if you will?” I ask before he can walk away.

“Sure thing.”

“Maybe don’t tell a bunch of people?” He looks confused at my request. “I’m sorry I know it’s a bit strange, but I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea considering what Rosier’s been doing.”

“Ah, I see. I’ll make sure to stay discreet and let the boys know to do the same.”

“Thank you, Remus.” We share an almost conspiratorial smile before finally departing.

─

Dinner seems to take forever as my friends pointedly avoid bringing up what the whole school is already talking about. Evan sits further down the table than he usually does. I think him a bit cowardly for not trying to talk to me about it, but I also appreciate that I don’t have to deal with him just yet. 

My friends start toward the Slytherin common room after dinner, as is our standard routine.

I catch Andromeda and Narcissa’s attention. “I’m actually going to go back to the library to study a bit more before bed today.”

They share a confused look. “Oh, okay. Would you like us to join you?” Narcissa asks.

“No, that’s okay. I think I just need some space tonight. Might try to draft a letter to my parents,” I explain. I tug at the sleeve of my robe. 

“Right, of course. It’s good to keep up with them,” Andromeda says, treading lightly around the idea of me telling my parents what happened today. 

“You know where to find us if you need anything,” Narcissa offers.

“Thank you, I’ll be fine,” I promise before departing.

I make my way out to the lake without running into anyone I fear will be keeping track of my whereabouts.

I don’t see the boys anywhere yet so I settle down under a tree and practice levitating a branch. I’d left my book bag back in my dorm, otherwise I would take the time to pull out my divination textbook that I’ve been studying extra hard since we got back. 

“There she is, the prettiest Slytherin princess,” I hear Sirius say from somewhere behind me. I turn to him with a scowl. 

“Aww, don’t worry, darling,” James coos as he walks next to Sirius. “You’re the only Slytherin princess we care about.” Him and Sirius laugh at his stupid joke and I roll my eyes at their antics.

“I’m not a bloody princess,” I grumble as they sit on either side of me.

“Sure you are, dove,” Remus says as he sits across from me. “Doesn’t make you a ‘simpering girl in need of a man to save her,’ just makes you special.”

“If that’s how you feel then I cannot relate to you at all, princess,” Sirius starts. “I am most definitely in need of a big, strong man to save me.” He pretends to faint, falling into Remus.

“Oy, pester Jamie with that hero shit. I haven’t got the time.” Remus pushes him off. 

“Hey! What’re you volunteering me for? I’ve saved his ass enough times already, I’m nearing my limit,” James argues. 

“What the hell? Who’s going to save me then?” Sirius asks, pretending to be outraged.

They each glance at me.

“Well I suppose I could spare a bit of time to save you, but my time is precious to me so I expect to be fairly compensated for my heroic efforts.” I try to play along, but I’m not entirely sure I’m doing it right.

Sirius grins at me. “Why yes of course. I don’t suppose some chocolate frogs would do the trick?”

“Five chocolate frogs and two cauldron cakes,” I counter-offer.

James laughs. “Is that the going rate for princess-saving these days?” He jokes.

“I’m afraid it is, though I hear it goes up for each occurrence,” I explain.

“You drive a hard bargain but considering my limited options I suppose I have no choice. What’s a princess to do these days?” Sirius laments dramatically. 

“Damn, if I knew I could be getting sweets out of you for saving your ass I would’ve been cashing in on that this whole time,” Remus quips. 

The evening continues on with wise-cracking banter and the boys sharing silly stories about each other. I try to share my own stories in return, but it becomes jarringly apparent to me that me and my friends have significantly less fun outside of class than the boys and their friends. I try not to think so hard about why we’re all so serious all the time.

All the while that we’re talking, James picks at and fiddles with the grass. Occasionally, he switches to picking at a scratch on his arm, and Remus gently guides him back to playing with the grass. I think they think I don’t notice, so I don’t say anything about it.

At some point, Sirius’s hair starts to go a bit everywhere, frizz making him look a bit frantic. He keeps trying to brush it out of his face, but I can tell it keeps bothering him still. 

I don’t know what possesses me to do it, but suddenly I ask if he’d like me to braid it back for him. Each boy wears their own look of shock at my offer and I worry I’ve crossed a line.

Once the shock passes, Sirius’s eyes go round and he just nods in response.

I have a spare hair-tie on my wrist, so I move to kneel behind him and start combing through his hair with my fingers, gently working out the couple of tangles I snag on. His shoulders start to sag as I work my fingers through his hair, so I continue to comb through it a couple moments longer than necessary. 

James and Remus are talking about one of their assignments they haven’t quite finished that’s due in a couple days, but I focus in on Sirius’s hair. It’s quite soft, and very thick. I notice that Sirius doesn’t try to make any conversation with James or Remus as I work on french-braiding his hair.

I can’t help feeling almost sad as I near the end. I liked the excuse to be close to him.

As I secure the hair-tie at the tip of the braid I let him know I’ve finished. He lets out a sad sigh. I move back to my original spot, although maybe a bit closer to him still. 

He gives me a glum smile. “No one’s ever done that for me before,” he explains, softly. “It felt quite nice.”

“How long have you been growing it out?” I ask, matching his tone. 

“Last three years or so. It practically grows overnight, though.”

I reach out to fiddle with the end of his braid. He leans closer to me in response. I study the contours of his face. It really is a nice face. Part of me wants to cradle it between my hands. My eyes drift down to his lips and I wonder what they might taste like. I look back up into his piercing grey eyes and try not to betray what I was just thinking about. 

“Christ’s sake, James, quit picking at your arm,” Remus exclaims, breaking Sirius and I out of our reverie. 

Sirius and I look over to where James has started to make himself bleed just a bit.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t notice I was messing with it again,” James says, looking stressed. Sirius gives him a sympathetic look. 

Remus mutters under his breath, exasperated, as he digs around in his bag before pulling out a bandage. 

“I’m sorry, Remus, I really didn’t mean to,” James insists as Remus gently presses the bandage over the re-opened scratch on his arm. 

“It’s okay, Jamie. Just try to stay more aware, yeah?” Remus speaks softer this time, giving James’s hand a reassuring squeeze. James nods.

Sirius asks them about the assignment they’d been talking about when I started braiding his hair, swiftly changing the conversation to more navigable territory. 

The rest of the night seems to go on without a hitch. The sun eventually sets and the stars are bright in the sky. 

I start to feel sleepy, but don’t say anything, not wanting my time with the boys to come to an end. In the end my yawns betray me, and Remus calls it a night on my behalf. They walk me back into the castle before bidding me a good night as I go toward the Slytherin dorms and them toward the Gryffindor tower.

─

I’m fixing my hair for the night at the vanity in our dorm when Andromeda breaks the silence. “You were gone quite a while, is everything all right?”

“As much as it can be,” I reply. “Sorry if I worried you, but I feel better after having some time to think.” 

“It’s okay, we understand,” Narcissa is quick to say. 

“We heard about what happened in the library this afternoon,” Andromeda speaks plainly. Narcissa looks shocked that she brought it up.

“I figure most people would have by now,” I say neutrally. Andromeda moves to stand behind me and look at me in the mirror. “Look, Andy, it’s all fine. Really. You both know I didn’t want to marry him anyway. I don’t know what my parents will have to say about this, but I can tell you one thing for certain, I am not marrying that lowlife.”

Andromeda holds my gaze in the mirror before giving a sharp nod, then going to finish getting ready for bed.

Later on as I lay in bed I can’t help but remember the night my parents told me about the deal they had made. 

─ 

“It doesn’t matter if you love him or not, you don’t even have to like him, but you will be cordial and respectful. Your future relies on it now,” my mother spoke harshly to me. Then she instructed me to get dressed for the gala we were attending that night. “Do up your makeup, too. The Rosiers will be there and you’ll want to make a good impression as Evan’s new bride.”

I nearly gagged hearing the word “bride” uttered in relation to Evan Rosier. I remained composed and replied with the proper “yes, ma’am.” 

The dress my father had picked out was truly horrid. The seams were itchy and the fabric clung to my skin in a way that made me sweat. It was the kind of dress that made me look older than I am, something that my mother would wear. I did my makeup in a way that I thought matched, but it felt heavy on my face. 

I came out when my parents called out that it was time to leave. My father inspected me carefully. “Fine,” he said, sounding bored.

At the gala my parents forced me to socialize with nearly every person there. For the most part I was there to be seen and not heard. I listened to the grown-ups drone on for ages about politics and the economy and snide remarks they pretended didn’t count as gossip. 

Eventually I managed to sneak outside, under the guise that I was using the women’s powder room. I hoped the fresh air would do me some good, maybe give me a bit of strength to power through the rest of the horrible evening.

“Not having fun in there?” A familiar voice asked. I turned to see James Potter. I hadn’t realized he was here tonight. In fact, I hadn’t realized anyone Hogwarts-aged was here besides me and Evan. I gave him a confused look. “I mean, it’s always been my dream to be paraded around like cattle,” he joked.

I let out a weak laugh and opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. 

“I’m sorry, you’d probably like to be alone right now, I can leave.” He starts toward the door to go back inside. 

“No it’s okay, you were here first. I can go back in.”

James pauses next to me. “I don’t mind the company if you don’t,” he offers. I consider him for a moment before deeming him harmless.

“I suppose as long as you’re sensible company,” I tease.

We stand together in silence for a moment.

“I know it’s a bit different, running into each other here, but you seem a bit… despondent tonight,” he says hesitantly.

“You’ll have to forgive me, I’ve uh… Well if I tell you you have to promise not to tell anyone else.” I really shouldn’t trust him while I feel so vulnerable but the look in his eyes convinces me I can.

“Is everything alright?” He asks, taking a step closer to me.

“I really don’t know,” I admit quietly.

“I won’t tell a soul,” he swears.

My brows furrow and I can’t stop my lip from quivering. James takes another step toward me.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he offers.

“My parents are forcing me to marry Evan Rosier when we graduate,” I whisper. 

His eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. “Oh… I see.” I give a small nod. “I think I would feel rather despondent myself if I were in your shoes.” 

“I feel… as though a great axe has cracked into my chest and everything that I am is pouring out and every move I make to stop it the axe just tears into me more.”

“Oh, darling,” James says so softly it tears through me in a twisting pain.

“Please, James, you can’t tell a soul about this,” I nearly beg him. “I know that people will find out soon enough, but I just need some more time to come to terms first.” 

He nods in reassurance. “I understand. I won’t tell anyone.”

“Thank you.” 

We take in the night air for a few moments. The full moon is bright in the sky. James seems to revere it with disdain. 

“I know why Evan and I are here tonight, but not you. It seems everyone else is at least fifteen years our senior,” I say after a while.

“My dad is considering selling his business, I’m meant to be helping him scope out prospective buyers,” he explains. “Not so sure I’ve got his business acumen, or that I’m quite the right fit for modeling his product.” He gives me a goofy smile as he further ruffles up his hair. It somehow doesn’t look any more or less wild than before. I can’t help but smile back. “Usually my mum can help him charm the room, but she had to stay home tonight.” 

“Is she feeling alright?” I ask politely.

“No, yeah, she’s just fine. Sirius came down with a cold, though, and my mum wanted to stay home to take care of him.” 

I give him a confused look.

“Sirius, he… well he ran away from his parent’s last summer and he’s been staying with me and my folks since,” he clarifies. 

“Oh, I see.” I had known Sirius had run away from Regulus, but I didn’t realize he’d been staying with James’s family. “It sounds like he’s very lucky to have you and your family.”

James gives me a sad look because just like Sirius he understands. He looks like he’s about to say something, but I don’t know if I’m entirely prepared to hear whatever it may be.

“I should probably head back in,” I say quickly.

“Right, I should probably find my dad,” James agrees.

─

The next morning at breakfast I walk into the Great Hall and my eyes catch on the Marauders over at the Gryffindor table. Sirius’s eye catches mine and he gives me an encouraging smile. 

Evan sits next to me at the Slytherin table and I entirely ignore his existence. 

History of magic is my first class for the day and when I take my seat a note falls seemingly from the ceiling. It’s on a different type of paper than the notes Evan sends me, and there’s only a handful of other students in the classroom, so it's not flashy enough to be Evan. I peel it open to find an invite to meet at the green houses after classes, signed by James, Remus, and Sirius.

I quickly tuck the note into the pocket of my robes, but can’t help the smile I wear throughout the day, waiting for my rendezvous with the boys. 

─

I don’t know what to expect when I get there, but the boys are already waiting for me.

“What’s this about then?” I ask as I approach.

“It’s about having a bit of fun before you give yourself a hernia,” Sirius jokes.

The boys guide me through preparing a prank on the plant Evan has been growing for his herbology assignment. 

“This is so wrong, we could get in so much trouble for this,” I complain.

“But not if we don’t get caught, so move quicker, darling,” James says.

“Don’t you lot have another friend who usually helps you pull these foolish shenanigans off with?” I ask.

“You mean Peter,” Sirius confirms. “He’s been all head over heels for his new girlfriend Mary and she’s convinced him that pranks are childish.”

“They are childish,” I argue.

“Then why’re you helping?” Remus teases.

“I really shouldn’t be,” I start to set down the packet of seeds that I’d been sprinkling into the pot of Evan’s begonias. 

“Oh, but princess, he really deserves it,” Sirius says as he wraps his hand around mine to make me pick up the seed packet again. A jolt of electricity shoots up my arm from his touch but I do my best to ignore it.

Several moments later I have thoroughly spread grass seeds into the soil. James reaches around me to pour some sort of quick-grow potion over the seeds. His chest brushes against my back and I pick up on the way he smells like fresh-cut grass and lemon verbena. I nearly lean back against him to smell more of it.

After our prank has been executed Remus places Evan’s pot back on its shelf exactly as it had been. Tomorrow when he comes to class he’ll find his begonias have turned a sickly brown and become overwhelmed with weeds. We sneak away and go a roundabout way to the castle so it doesn’t look like we’ve just come from the green houses.

A part of me knows that I really should split off now to go study, but I’m having so much fun with the boys that I walk with them through the castle as they banter back and forth, giving each other silly dares. I’ve lost track of time when the dinner bell rings, and I realize that I really should depart from them now.

Back in the Great Hall I take my usual seat and try not to look too happy. It becomes all too easy when Evan sits next to me again. 

Andromeda scowls at him and Narcissa gives me a nervous glance. 

“Will you just talk to me?” He asks, frustrated.

“What, like how you were talking with that Hufflepuff? I don’t think so,” I snap.

He clenches his fist around his fork. I don’t have to look around the table to know that we all pick up on it. 

“I don’t know why I even tried with you.” He rolls his eyes.

“I never asked you to,” I said coldly.

“It’s not like I asked either, you know.” My eyes dart around the table to see that everyone is listening very closely, while pretending to be focused on their meal.

With a sigh I turn to face Evan. 

“Then you should be glad to hear I won’t marry you.” His jaw clenches and I wait for him to blow up at me. He glances around the table himself to see all eyes on us. 

With a scoff and a muttered “whatever,” he storms off.

─

That night I toss and turn in bed before accepting that I won’t be getting any sleep anytime soon. I slip out of bed and pull my sneakers on. Something draws me to the night sky tonight and I want to get as close to it as possible, so I decide to sneak up to the astronomy tower. As I approach the landing I hear soft voices, and I worry there’s a class being held. I move quietly up, curious to see what’s going on. When I poke my head through the doorway I’m shocked to have run into familiar faces.

“Is that dovey?” Remus asks from where he sits, leaning against the half wall. I glance behind me, confused if he means me. When I look back he’s got a tired smile on his face. James is lying between his legs, resting his head on Remus’s thigh, and Sirius is wrapped around his arm with his head on Remus’s shoulder. They’re altogether a big tangle of long limbs and cozy embraces.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize anyone was up here,” I say quickly. It must be too loud because Sirius quickly shushes me. He then points to James’s face and I realize he’s actually asleep. “Oh, shit. I’m so sorry,” I whisper. 

“S’all good,” Remus mumbles. “He’s probably already too heavily asleep. We’re lucky he isn’t snoring.” 

I let out a soft laugh. Remus and Sirius observe me and I feel awkward under their scrutiny. I’m just in an old pair of flannel pajamas. Thankfully the air hasn’t turned to crisp yet, but up this high a chill settles over my skin. 

Sirius tsks when he notices me rubbing my arm. He untangles himself from Remus and sits up a bit straighter. “C’mere, princess. I’ll keep you warm,” Sirius offers, holding his arm up for me to presumably sit next to him.

It must be the exhaustion finally wearing on me that has me lowering my inhibitions, but I sit next to Sirius albeit a bit stiff. He wraps his arm around me and jostles me a bit to lean into him. I can’t help the yawn that escapes me. With his other hand he reaches up to nudge my head until it's leaning on his shoulder. 

“What’re you doing up this late, princess?” Sirius asks. 

“M’not a princess,” I argue.

“You’re too pretty not to be,” he argues back. 

I’m taken aback by his words and am too tired to think of a witty response. “What’re you lot doing up this late?” I ask instead. 

“Tomorrow night’s a full moon,” Remus says on the other side of Sirius, as if it’s a perfectly logical explanation. 

“Does that make it a good night to stargaze?” I ask for clarity.

“Makes it a good night to be alive and not in pain,” he grumbles.

“What…?” I’m at a loss of words, entirely unsure how to respond.

“See that bright one, right there?” Sirius interjects. I accept his redirection without complaint considering Remus sounds like he might be about to fall asleep too and could be saying any sort of nonsensical things. 

“That one?” I point at the brightest star in the sky.

“Yeah, that one. It’s mine,” Sirius tells me.

“It’s yours? How’s that?” 

“Well it’s named after me.” His voice is mirthful as he says it.

“Being named after a star and having a star named after you are two very different things, Sirius,” I joke. 

“Nah, one and the same to me,” he teases back. 

“Whatever,” I murmur. My eyes start to droop and I can’t help leaning on Sirius just a bit more. A bit of his hair tickles my face and I notice the way he smells like sandalwood and violet. It feels safe, here with the boys.

Sirius says something back to me but it’s a distant, muffled sound as sleep pulls at the corners of my consciousness. 

I don’t know how long I’m asleep before I’m being gently woken up by James who kneels in front of me.

“Hey, there she is.” He gives me an encouraging smile. I give him a confused look and try to blink away the hazy edges of my vision. 

“Come on, princess, we ought to get you back to your dorm so you can have a proper sleep in your comfy bed,” Sirius says and I realize that I’ve been sleeping practically on top of him.

“Oh, Merlin, I’m so sorry.” I push off him. James helps me to stand up, then reaches down to help Sirius up. “How long have I been asleep?” I ask, stretching out a slight crick in my neck. 

Sirius glances at his watch. “Maybe half an hour. I was fighting to stay awake myself when Jamie woke up and started complaining about his back.”

I look up at James who makes a guilty face.

“Oh, don’t blame the poor boy,” Remus coos. “The concrete floor must not have been very comfortable.”

“Well why did he lay down like that in the first place then?” Sirius chides.

“It had felt comfy at first,” James says shyly.

“Please, you just wanted to be between Moony’s legs,” Sirius laughs. James and Remus both look shocked and glance nervously at me. My brows furrow in confusion. “Ah, shit, I didn’t mean…”

“Didn’t mean what?” I ask. Suddenly I realized just how comfy the boys had been laying together before I interrupted. My cheeks flare up. 

“Dove…” Remus seems hesitant to say anything.

“Are you guys… what exactly were you guys doing up here?”

James’s winces and glances to Remus.

“Nothing like that, Sirius was just joking,” Remus says carefully.

“But you guys are comfortable together like that? Aren’t you?” They glance at each other, unsure how to proceed. “Were you guys on a date and I interrupted?” I ask, slightly horrified. “I am so, so sorry. I should─ I should go, I can’t believe I ruined your night.” I start to rush away.

“Wait, princess,” Sirius calls out and just manages to grab my wrist to stop me. It’s not a tight grasp, just enough to get my attention. I look into his grey eyes that seem to reflect the starlight back at me. “You didn’t ruin anything,” he promises.

“But you all were on a date?” I press.

He hesitates.

“I wouldn’t─ I won’t tell anyone.”

He glances behind me at Remus then back to me. 

“Yeah, we’re… The three of us…” Sirius doesn’t seem to know how to say it. 

“We’re together,” Remus says finally. Sirius drops my wrist. I move so that the three of them are all in front of me.

“I can’t believe I didn’t realize any sooner,” I say, laughing at myself. They seem relieved by my reaction.

“Well that’s kind of the point,” James giggles.

“Oy, don’t be cheeky,” Remus chides. They all pause to observe me before seeming to all come to a conclusion. “Thank you, dove.”

“What for?”

“For… not freaking out, I guess,” Remus clarifies.

“Oh, well I mean yeah. The three of you are clearly happy together. I’m… I’m glad that you have each other.” They each give me a winning grin. Something pangs in my heart to realize they’re all already taken, and so clearly happy together, but I try to brush that off. 

“We should get you back down to your dorm,” James says after a moment.

Remus and Sirius are quick to agree and even though I want to argue I can get back to the dungeons on my own perfectly fine, I agree to let them walk back with me. A selfish part of me just wants to spend more time with them, even despite what I’d just learned.

─

Over the next month I find myself spending more and more time with the boys. Always in private, invited by an unsuspecting note. It doesn’t feel weird like I worried it might now that I know they’re all together romantically. In fact, it actually feels more right the more time I spend with them. 

About a week after Evan was caught macking on the Hufflepuff in the library, I got a letter from my mother that simply said the engagement was off. I don’t know how they found out as I never had written them, but I don’t question it with them anymore. That night the boys and I celebrated in their dorm by gorging on sweets from Honeydukes. Evan thankfully left me alone after that and would only occasionally interact with me, similar to before the engagement. 

If my friends thought my distance from them lately was weird they never gave any indication. Andromeda would inquire about my whereabouts, but I easily brushed it off as needing time to study in the library. 

Occasionally the boys will rope me into a silly prank, but for the most part we meander low-traffic areas of the castle and talk and play weird muggle games that Remus teaches us. 

Whatever weird emotions I had felt about learning that the boys were in a relationship together had worn off quickly. It must have merely been a bit of jealousy that they found something that made them happy, when I had almost been trapped in something that would make me miserable. 

─

The morning after a late night escapade to the lake with the boys I make my way to potions class. I’m barely staying awake, but excited for the day’s lesson. When I walk through the door I see that Amortentia has been written across the blackboard.

The whole class is abuzz while we work to brew our potions, everyone excited to see if their potion will work. Slughorn carefully supervises as we mix and stir. This is one of the classes I share with the self-proclaimed Marauders and I keep a careful eye that they don’t do anything tremendously wrong, but Remus is very careful in following the directions. I notice each of them stealing glances my way in turn.

Eventually, Slughorn makes his rounds to inspect our completed potions. Andromeda and I get the highest score in the class.

“Now do share with us what you can smell,” Slughorn instructs.

Andromeda goes first, leaning in to carefully smell our potion. “Hmm… It smells like cedarwood,” she pauses to smell it again, “juniper berry… and pineapple!”

“Ah! How exciting,” Slughorn proclaims. “And you?” He prompts me.

I lean over the cauldron to inhale deeply. “It’s very clean smelling,” I start. “And also florally, I’d say like violets and cut grass.” I breathe in again. “And it’s a bit… err─ I can’t quite place it,” I explain. I force myself to keep my gaze on Slughorn while the whole class watches me.

“Very good.” Slughorn gives a sharp nod. “Fifteen points to Slytherin.” 

He turns then to the table next to us and everyone’s attention shifts. I can’t help but glance toward Remus, who’s already staring straight at me.

He knows. 

Bloody hell he knows.

He knows that Sirius smells like violets and that James smells like cut grass.

Merlin now he’s going to think I’ve got feelings for his boyfriends. 

But it's worse than that because the last thing I could smell was cinnamon. Cinnamon like how Remus smells like cinnamon. 

Because I’ve got feelings for all of them.

[moralesluvr]

cooler than ice | billie eilish

୧ ‧₊˚ you spend the day going ice skating with your girlfriend, though you’re not as good as you thought you’d be.

pairings & aus. billie eilish x fem!reader

warnings. some swearing | billie being a tease

author's note. i haven’t written in months and here i am popping out w a billie eilish fic…i love this woman so much im sorry not sorry !! anyways, enjoy !

a wispy breeze of november bites at your exposed arms as you fold them over your chest, sharp enough to sting but comforting, in an odd sort of a way. you seethe and suck in a cloud of cool air, blowing a plume of it out and turning your head to look at your girlfriend, who had her ring-accented fingers dug into her pockets, turning her own head to smile at you.

neither of you speak, but you approach a huge, blue and white themed building with big letters that read “ice rink,” and you start to reach for the door, but receive nothing but a playful slap on the hand from billie. she grabs it and rubs the freshly-assaulted skin, “what did i tell you about touching doors?”

it’s a rhetorical question, and you can’t help but crack a little smile as the door flies open, even more cool air slapping you in the face, but this time— a little more harsh.

you bite your lip and enter the building, walking up to the accumulating line of people. there were mostly couples waiting— some old, some young, and some not even couples at all, just friends with gleaming smiles on their faces or families who snapped group pictures before buying their entry tickets. you smiled at the sight— and billie noticed this, her expression washed to copy yours.

when it was time for you to grab your skates and buy your tickets, billie swiped her card effortlessly and handed you yours first, so you took them and trotted to the nearest bench where you could put the skates on.

you shifted nervously on them when you pulled them snuggly over your feet, tying the laces real tight and finally standing up. each foot felt like it weighed damn near forty pounds— and you felt even more embarrassed when billie offered you a teasing look, “something wrong, baby?”

“no.” you muttered, the lie slipping through your teeth with a grunt laced within it. you huffed and waiting for billie to stand, and as she did so, she gave you a quick kiss on your head.

“afraid you’re gonna go out there and bust your ass?”

a defensive scoff leaves you as billie starts to stand on the ice, effortlessly gliding across the rink and circling back, resting in front of an opening for you to join her, but you’re reluctant. you stare at her for a second— mainly because she looks so pretty. her dark hair was slicked back into a high ponytail, and she was clad in an oversized blue sweater and a pair of dark-wash jeans, with, of course— a borderline unnecessary amount of jewelry.

you were captivated by her, and she could tell, so she gave you a teasing smile, “get on the rink, babe.”

“i’m just gonna…take my time.” you murmur, bending down to tighten your laces for the third time, although they were already tight enough.

billie didn’t buy your shit, though. she knew that you were scared, so she reached out a hand for you and as you grabbed it, she yanked you onto the rink, but pressed your body against her warm one. you yelped, earning a couple concerned looks from other skaters, but billie shushed you.

“i’m not gonna let you go baby, i promise.” billie laughed, though it was a little mocking, because she immediately turned you loose and began to skate off, giggling to herself as she looked back, leaving you looking like bambi on ice.

it was borderline pathetic, really, how you were looking on that rink— cold with no jacket in sight, knees wobbling, and ankles giving out, while your girlfriend skated effortlessly, lapping you around the establishment twice.

you pouted when she made her way back over to you.

“look at you,” she says, smirking, “you kinda look like a baby deer. it’s cute, honestly.”

“you’re such an ass.” you mutter, but there’s a heat crawling up your neck that has nothing to do with a change in temperature. embarrassment flooded you— even though you weren’t the best at ice skating, you at least thought you wouldn’t be this bad to where you would stand in the same spot for five minutes. it was hopeless now, so you turned to your girlfriend and frowned, “bils…”

as if reading your mind, she nodded, interlocking her fingers with your own after shedding herself of her coat and placing it around your shoulders, instantly warming you up, “yes, i’ll teach you how to skate.”

“thank you!” you gleam, “i really wanted to do this together. but i’m clearly not as talented as you are.”

billie laughs, “can’t be the best at everything. well, you can’t— but that’s okay, you’ll get used to it.”

you glance at her with soft eyes as she pulls you out onto the icy rink, teaching you how to sway your hips and rock your feet to a solid rhythm to keep you level and moving steady. with her hands on your waist and her chin on your shoulder, you quickly pick up the new skill. she’s so proud of you, and the both of you are so in sync with your movements that you predict hers before she even makes them.

she’s beautiful— her hair now swaying in the cold wind blows past you both as you begin to pick up speed, and although she’s really guiding y’all, you can’t help but feel proud of yourself for getting the hang of it so fast.

“you tired yet?” billie had asked you a couple minutes later, and you nodded truthfully, telling her that your ankles were starting to ache a little bit. so she led you guys off the rink and to a bench, where you rubbed your achilles with swollen, cold fingers.

“this shit is awful.”

“why awful?” your girlfriend inquired as she took her skates off, wiggling her toes through her long fuzzy socks, which made you roll your eyes with a halfhearted laugh.

you shrugged, “i didn’t know it was gonna be this cold.”

“so, actually,” billie started, and you knew she was going to say something smart-assy because that’s always what would preface such a statement, “we’re in a literal ice box, did you think it was gonna be warm in here? i also vividly remember telling your ass to bring a coat, because you know you get cold everywhere you go.”

“i do not!” you protested, but it was short-lived, immediately executed by the look that the blue eyed girl gave you. but winning the argument didn’t even matter to you anymore, you just offered her soft, sweet eyes, relishing in such a beautiful moment with her.

“you’re staring again.” she whispers, though there’s no real sign of a complaint from her, it’s more informative.

“maybe you’re just worth staring at.”

it comes out so natural, your compliment towards her— and you can tell it melted her heart by the way her arms snake around your waist, pulling you in eagerly to pepper kisses all over your cheeks. you squeal into her shirt as she finishes her mission to peck every single little inch of exposed skin on your face before planting a loving kiss on your lips.

“i love you.”

“i love you too.” you murmur as billie eventually pulls you into another slow glide against the rink, the cold air and her warmth intertwining in a way that made your heart swell.

[beuxwhoyouare]

Ready to Go

I always thought I would die young. I just don’t forsee a long life ahead for me. It’s not like sad or anything I just think I’ve done all I wanted to. There’s never been like a dream job or goal I’ve ever foresaw in my future. It’s not depression or anything, if anything I think more people should be honest with themselves about being useless and just tapping out of a long life of nothingness.

See. You’ve read this long and didn’t even notice I haven’t mentioned my name. That’s because like my life, my name is equally inconsequential.

I was pondering about ways to easily tap out of life while I sat at the bus stop waiting. Eventually I got on the bus at my usual stop to take me to my usual destination when an older white man slowly waved his hand in front of my wandering gaze.

“What’s out there?” he feebly asked in a weak voice.

I’ve never been asked something on my route before. I kinda just zone out into my own mind like this and-

“Hey kid. You keep zoning out are you okay?” he interrupted my internal thought.

It’s like he knew I was talking to myself but how?

“I’m just in my own head. Sorry did you want the window seat?” I finally replied audibly.

“No. Just making sure you’re okay. Was worried you were one of those druggies or something. Whole life ahead of you and you youngins just throw it all away.”

What a presumptive thought. He really believes that young people can’t have a complex and existential inner dialogue. I think older people don’t give us enough credit. I’m complex, I think.

*hehe*

What’s he laughing at. Wait maybe he is listening to my inner dialogue? Let’s see. Lemme think of something and see how he responds. I don’t want to die, I just want to peacefully tap out of the game of existence.

Damn nothing? He isn’t going to say anything? I’m losing my mind.

“Where do you want to go in life kid?”

HE HEARD ME I KNEW IT!

“I mean let’s say you manifested it enough. Maybe I’m here to help you move on. The worst thing you can do is live a life unfulfilled. It seems like that’s how you’re living.”

“You can’t be serious…What can you do?”

“It’s not really me, more like a pact to the deities that rule existence. It’s the law of the land. Everything in this world is all about balance. Even our lives, if one aspect is out of balance it could throw the whole world out of whack.”

“So what’s out of balance? Just because I’m tired of being aimless in life? It’s not like I’m the only aimless one right?”

“Maybe you’re not the only one, but you’re the only aimless one put in my life. I have so much I wanted to do but spent too much time wasted. I wanted kids, I wanted love, I wanted it all but got sick and spent years withering away in a hospital bed.”

….why is he telling me all this? What can I do about the law of the land? If I could help him I would but he’s talking about myths and hocus pocus.

The bus made an abrupt stop next to a big park near a historical reserve in town. The old man grabbed my arm and dragged me with him off the bus, across the street to the park.

“Dude your boney arm is hurting me. I’ll follow you just let me go”

“We’re here anyway. I can feel one of the deity’s presence around us. All you have to do is say your true hearts desire out loud for it to become true. You can’t move on and I can get a chance to fix my life’s shortcomings.”

My true hearts desire? Doesn’t he get it my problem is I don’t have a desire. There’s nothing fueling me.

“That! Say that out loud.”

“I KNEW YOU COULD HEAR ME! But how?”

“Your inner dialogue was calling to me like a siren. I’m telling you I was meant to hear it. To run into you! This moment was meant to happen.”

Honestly resisting the occult is too much work anyway. I don’t know why I’m even poking and prodding into his story. What is it going to do for me in the end? He’s offering me a way out.

“I don’t have desire. I don’t have a goal. I’m not sad, I’ve lived an okay life but I’m done.”

“I want a real chance to live life. I payed my dues. Please all I ask for is a real chance.”

If felt like all the sounds of nature stopped. The sun suddenly disappeared and it felt like a spotlight appeared above us. All I could see was the old man when he disappeared in front of me. It all disappeared in front of me. Then silence. Well everything was silent from then on. My request to tap out was granted.

“Keven. I like that name, I definitely look like a Keven now. This is a good place to start I think?”

I feel bad that a young person could fall out of love with existing. There’s so much young people have to live for and he just wanted to die? I’ll live the best live for the both of us.

I’m quite the looker now too so that should probably help on the having kids and starting a family front. Although he’s a little short for my liking. You know what no I’m going to be grateful for this new life I’ve been given. There’s still some memories in my head that belong to him. I think he might be gay….well I never got to explore those things in my time but it doesn’t help the kids dream.

Whatever I think starting today I’m going to be Bi. I’m gonna search through these memories and continue working out. Seems like it has a positive impact on people’s outlook and morale. Maybe that’s where the kid went wrong. He didn’t seek ways to be happy. I’m choosing happiness and choosing to be fulfilled.

Let’s start by jerking this thick beer can growing under my shorts though…and maybe seeing if this hot couple in the gym might want a newly confident Latino twunk third.

[glamourscat]

Sorry for disturbing 🩷 would it be possible a one shot with either Bachira or reo (or any character that fits the vibes) based on the sentence “don’t give me space. That’s the last thing I want from you” or “why are you so stubborn?”. Looking for some angst not gonna lie😖😶‍🌫️

𐙚 “Don’t give me space, that’s the last thing I want.” BLLK oneshot 𐙚

CW: angst. Nakedness innuendos but nothing explicit, mention of breakup.

ᯓ★ Ryusei Shidou

“Damn it, Y/N,” Shidou snapped. It wasn’t loud enough to make you flinch, but it was loud enough to make your eyes widen in surprise.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise. After all, you are more than aware of how he is—the type of person he is. He’s not so rough in private as he is on the field, sure, but his bruising personality still carries over into his personal life. The signs, the warnings were there all along. Big, bold, and yet, they still managed to get lost.

“Why are you so stubborn?” he continued. “I have told you once, and I have told you twice, I don’t—I just don’t. I don’t want to open up, I am fine. I do not need help—“

“Fine.” You cut him off, trying to avoid another argument—the third of that morning alone.

“Fine. I am sorry for pushing. I am sorry for insisting. I just know something is wrong. I can tell from the way you haven’t closed an eye in the last few days. From the way you have been on edge constantly. I shouldn’t have pried, I am sorry. Just know that I am here if you do need me. Because that’s what I am here for, right?” Your words linger in the air for a moment, the silence thick between the two of you as both stare at the pavement. The silence is broken as you turn around to leave the living room, your slippers squeaking on the parquet floor.

“Wait—Y/N,” Shidou sighed, his voice calmer than earlier. His shoulders had dropped, his eyes slightly softer, although there was still that wall present.

“Wait. Please—don’t go. Don’t give me space. That’s the last thing I want from you. Please… I… can’t,” he mumbled, his words coming out quietly and quickly, enough to understand them and the message he was trying to send.

Stay. I need you. Please. Don’t leave me alone. I can’t talk about it, not yet. But please stay.

Your eyes soften as you move back close to him, step after step, slowly. Unsure movements, trying to see how he would react. Will he flinch away? Will he move back? But he doesn’t. He doesn’t move. He keeps his eyes on you. And your eyes are on him. You stop right in front of him, giving him the opportunity to move back, to move away if he needs to. But he doesn’t move. And so, you take one more step, and your arms are around him. His head comes to rest against your neck, his breathing hitting your soft skin, making it warmer.

“I’m sorry,” your words come out quieter than intended, a whisper of some sort.

“It’s fine, stop apologising,” he whispers back, moving his mouth against your neck, leaving a soft, slightly humid kiss on the now warm skin. “Just hold me for a little longer.”

ᯓ★ Bachira Meguru

“Don’t give me space. That’s the last thing I want from you, Y/N-chan,” Bachira screamed while crying—no, while sobbing his eyes out. The scene felt so familiar. The yellow bedsheets, the softness of his mattress where he was sat on. The artwork from his mother or the little sketches he made, scattered across the study table and some glued to the wall. Right beside the Polaroids of you two. You two laughing, you two kissing. You two smiling.

And now, it felt like everything was crumbling away slowly.

“Y/N-chan… please,” he sobbed as he tried to step closer, but you took a step back. He couldn’t—there was just something wrong with your eyes. The way they were so… dark. So empty. You never looked at him with such disdain. Disgust even. Why now?

“Don’t leave me, please—” you cut him off.

“Bachira, we are done. D-O-N-E. Done. I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to talk to you. You’re absolutely the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Bachira, Bachira… Bachira… Bachira? Bachira, are you listening? Bachira, can you hear me…?

He wakes up gasping. His eyes still blurred with tears he didn’t know he had shed while he was sleeping. His heart was beating so fast that he could feel his heartbeat in his ears. His body was shaking as he tightened his grip on a hand… a hand? He turns his face, meeting your worried eyes. Your mouth opens, probably calling his name, that’s what it looked like. But he was in such a discombobulated state that he didn’t even hear your words. His eyes wide as if he had seen a ghost, while they desperately tried to read any of the emotions he had seen previously on your face. Your eyes were kind, sweet as ever. There was no disgust, no fear, no hatred. And yet…

It felt so real. So damn real. He was no stranger to self-doubt. He was no stranger to feeling—like he wasn’t good enough. And maybe a little voice at the back of his head was waiting for the right moment to lash out all of these insecurities onto him, right when the moment was nothing more than peaceful, and destroy everything once again.

That wasn’t you. You never looked at him in such way, and he was sure you never would. That was a conjure of his brain, of his deepest insecurities. Of you leaving him. Of you abandoning him like he has been abandoned before in his past.

But you are here. Right beside him. Still holding his hand while your worried eyes and furrowed eyebrows look at his face, trying to determine how to work the situation.

“Bee? I’m here. You feel me? Feel my heart. I’m here,” you whisper softly, bringing the hand you were holding right up to your chest, to your beating, steady heart.

Right. You’re here. We are here. Together. You didn’t leave. We are in my bed. Our pictures are still up on that same wall staring back at us. And I can feel your soft, warm, bare body against mine under the covers. We are here. We are together. And I love you. Oh, how I love you. Please, never leave me. I love you.

ᯓ★ Reo Mikage

“For the love of— again? Really, Reo? Again? Why are you so stubborn, I swear—” you say to your best friend, Reo. Your voice is slightly harsher than intended, but the tiredness and maybe a tinge of anger are starting to seep out.

Again, it happened again.

Reo getting dumped by Nagi. And consequently, the purple-haired guy runs into hiding, sobbing his eyes out while spiraling out of control. And you were tired. Tired of seeing him hurt. Tired of seeing the person you loved, cared for and cherished getting used and discarded when he wasn’t needed anymore.

Reo wasn’t perfect, and neither are you. But then again, who is? Despite his flaws, he is kind, oh so ever kind. He is gentle even, and his smile—his laugh, is so beautiful. So full of life, it’s the little giggles turning into a belly laugh, a small snort in between as he laughs his heart out. And you miss it as tears and sobs replace his usual smile and laugh.

You sigh, moving to sit by his side on the floor. Your arms move automatically like they have done in the past, to hold him tightly against your chest. To give him a sense of security despite the darkness he is feeling inside.

“I am so tired,” he whispers shakily between sniffles and tears. “I—is it too much? To ask to be loved? Is it too much to love me? Am I too much?” he says in a quiet, timid voice.

He is not speaking to you, well, not directly. The question is more or less said out loud as he is starting to open up.

“No. It’s not too much. You’re not too much, you’re not a burden to love, Reo. You’re the biggest gift anyone could ever receive.” Your words are soft as silk, caressing him, holding him metaphorically and literally in a warm embrace.

You’re not too much, Reo. You’re just enough.

“But then—” he sniffles. “Why is it… he keeps leaving? Why is it that no matter how hard I try, he always ends up leaving?”

Good question. Why does Nagi leave? Well, you certainly have some words, strong ones at that, but it’s not the time nor place to use them.

“Because sometimes we aren’t meant to stay with that person, Reo. I know, it’s an oxymoron. It doesn’t make sense, it’s ridiculous even. How and why? If you love someone so hard, so much, why do they leave? Why can’t they stay? Well—because it doesn’t matter how hard you love someone, sometimes that love is not enough to make them stay. Sometimes, too, you’re misplacing your love with the wrong person. In your case, I feel it’s a mix of both. I know you care for him, so deeply. That’s who you are, after all. But—who cares for you, Reo?” you say in a low, soft tone, as your hand goes to cup his cheek.

“Who cares for you when the lights are out and you’re alone with your thoughts? And I’m not talking about the physical intimacy kind. I’m talking about the mental one. Who’s there, giving you advice? Who’s there, helping you? Who’s there supporting you?”

Reo’s eyes meet yours, filled with tears but also a glimmer of understanding. He knows you’re right, but it’s hard to let go of something you’ve held onto so tightly.

“I just—I think sometimes it’s better to let go. I can’t make the choice for you, and I won’t. It has to come from you. But just know, whatever you decide, I’m here. I’ll always be here,” you continue, your voice firm yet gentle.

Reo takes a deep breath, his body still trembling slightly but starting to calm down in your embrace. He nods slowly, resting his head on your shoulder.

“I don’t know if I can do it alone,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. “I— don’t want to do it alone. Don’t give me space. Don’t leave. That’s the last thing I want from you. Please… help me” his eyes meet yours in a quiet understanding.

“You’re not alone, Reo. You have me, and you have so many people who care about you. You just have to see it. And maybe, it’s time to start caring for yourself as much as you care for others,” you say softly, rubbing his back in soothing circles.

He pulls back slightly to look at you, a small, grateful smile forming on his lips. It’s a start, at least.

“Thank you. I love you so much. I don’t know what I would do without you,” he whispers, his voice full of emotion, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

Your cold lips touch his cheek, leaving a soft, reassuring kiss

“Anytime silly” you reply, holding onto a soft, almost teasing smile. Your noses touch, while sharing a soft, quiet chuckle together.

In that moment, as his purple eyes mix into yours, you both understand that while the journey ahead might be tough, he has you and you have him. And maybe, just maybe, Reo will finally find the strength to let go and find someone who truly deserves his love.

© GLAMOROUSCAT (All rights reserved, do not share, modify or repost my work outside of tumblr)

[sunhee27]

Hii! Can you do 6 and 14 with Enemy Heeseung?(>3<)

| Here it is!!!! Sorry it took some time, I don’t know why it turned out so long 😭😭😭

How good was your luck now, huh? Getting put together with your so called enemy for chemistry project was not on your bucket list this year. 

Dang it, you hate Heeseung so much for being so charming. 

“Let’s find an empty classroom to work in.” He walk over to you, taking your wrist in his to drag you out of the room. 

“Hey! Let go of me you idiot.” You pull your hand back, but his grip is still too strong. 

“Can you shut up for one second.” He glares back at you before pulling you into an empty classroom. 

You sit down by a table to avoid him. He takes the seat right next to you. 

He takes the sheet of paper out of your hand, makes a quick turn with the pencil and then begin to answer the questions. 

“You are making it wrong” You mumble. 

He groans at it “oh yeah then tell me about it.” He shoots the paper back to you. 

You begin to ramble on about the correct methods and other stuff. Heeseung puts a hand under his chin while staring at you, when you stop he suddenly speaks. 

“Damn you’re practically a nerd.” He chuckles. 

“Like you are much better yourself in math.” You side eye him. 

“What the heck.” He sits back up. 

“Yeah everyone knows that you are a math ne-“ You get cut off when he puts a hand over your mouth. 

“Shh, there are teachers out there, they can’t hear us.” You whispers. 

“Are you saying that we can’t be here.” You whisper. 

“Yeah exactly.” He takes his hand away from you. Seeing you being quite a blushing mess. 

“Anyways gotta go.” He grins walking away. 

“What why?!” You shout. 

“You want me to stay?” He says. 

“No.”

“That’s what I thought.” 

~~~

“HEESEUNG!” You tell running into the classroom next morning. 

“Yeah?” He says sitting at his desk as you are about to sit beside him. 

“God help me, I know you hate me but please, can I copy your homework.” You say, running out of breath. 

“I haven’t made it.” He says. 

“We all know you have, you are better at math than the teacher himself, please Heeseung just once” you plead giving him your best puppy eyes. He acts out a disgusted look, but deep inside he is giving in already. 

“Mhhm, fine.” He blushes at your compliment. 

“Omg thank you Heeseung you saved me.” You look all excited about it, jumping up and down on your seat. 

“What do I get then.” He says. 

“Mmmm what do you want?” You grin. 

“A hug.” He smirks. 

As soon as he says it, you jump into his arms, wrapping your arms around his stomach. He didn’t expect that at all but hugs back with a pink tint on his face. 

“That’s it? Easy.” You pull away blushing. 

“Actually one more thing.” He grins knowing what will come next. 

“A kiss.” He says. You freeze. 

“But-“ you get cut off. 

“No buts, you copied my homework, now let me get a kiss.” He leans closer, and since you don’t pull away. He kisses your lips for about 4 seconds. 

“That wasn’t that bad was it?” He smirks looking at your flustered face. 

He crosses his arms on the table and lays down. 

“Wanna go to my house after and let me teach you some math.” He grins looking at you. You don’t say anything. 

“I take that as a yes.” He chuckles. 

“Fine.” You say. 

Request for my prompt list open

[sturnswrites]

terms and conditions - pt.4

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

⤳ angst, arguing

⤳ you move in with the triplets after losing your apartment prompting a "roommate agreement". after having a tricky relationship with matt, some of the rules begin to blur.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was Nick’s idea to throw the party.

“I’m serious,” he’d said one night as we all sat in the living room, Matt editing a video on his laptop while you and Chris played a mindless card game. “We haven’t had people over in forever. It’ll be fun.”

Chris immediately jumped on board. “A party sounds sick. We’ve been too cooped up here lately. Let’s invite everyone—make it big.”

Matt groaned from his seat. “A house full of drunk people? Pass.”

“Oh, come on,” Nick protested, waving a hand dismissively. “You need to loosen up. Y/N, back me up here.”

You looked up from your cards, trying not to smile. “I mean, I wouldn’t say no to a party. It could be fun.”

Matt gave you a pointed look. “You too? Great. Guess I’m outnumbered.”

“Damn right you are,” Chris said with a grin. “It’s happening. You’re just gonna have to deal with it.”

Matt sighed but didn’t argue further, and a week later, the house was packed with people, music blasting through the speakers and the smell of beer lingering in the air.

-

The night started out as chaotic as expected. Chris played the role of the charismatic host, bouncing from group to group with a drink in hand, while Nick mingled with his usual charm, effortlessly entertaining anyone who crossed his path.

You spent most of the evening chatting with friends from work and school, sipping on a drink as you tried to relax. Matt, on the other hand, stayed in the background, leaning against walls or perched on the couch, his gaze scanning the room with an unreadable expression.

Despite the energy of the party, you couldn’t help but notice him. He wasn’t loud or attention-seeking like Chris or Nick, but his quiet intensity made him impossible to ignore.

And then there was the flirting.

You weren’t trying to be obvious about it, but when a guy you barely knew started talking to you, and you didn’t exactly shut him down. He was nice enough, complimenting your outfit and making you laugh with his terrible jokes.

You told yourself it was harmless.

Matt’s mood darkened as the night went on.

You could feel his gaze on you from across the room, heavy and unrelenting. Every laugh, every playful touch on the arm from the guy you were talking to, seemed to make his expression grow more severe.

By the time you stepped into the kitchen for a refill, he was waiting for you.

“We need to talk,” he said, his voice clipped.

“About what?” you asked, feigning innocence.

“You know what,” he snapped, his eyes narrowing. “Let’s go.”

Before you could argue, he grabbed your wrist—not roughly, but firmly—and pulled you toward the hallway, away from the noise of the party.

-

“What the hell are you doing?” Matt demanded as soon as we were out of earshot.

“Excuse me?” you shot back, pulling your wrist free. “What’s your problem?”

“My problem?” he repeated, his tone incredulous. “You’re out there, flirting with that guy like—”

“Like what?” you challenged, your voice rising. “Talking to someone? Laughing? God forbid I have a conversation at a party!”

“You know exactly what I mean,” he said, his tone clipped.

“No, Matt. I don’t. Why don’t you spell it out for me?”

He exhaled sharply, pacing a short circle before stopping and pointing a finger at you. “You were flirting with him, Y/N.”

“So what?” you threw your hands up, incredulous. “Last I checked, the ‘roommate agreement’ didn’t say anything about flirting with people who don’t live here.”

His eyes narrowed. “You think it’s about the stupid agreement? You’re doing this on purpose.”

You blinked, caught off guard by his accusation. “Doing what on purpose?”

“You’re trying to get under my skin!” he exclaimed, his voice rising in frustration. “And it’s working.”

“Oh, get over yourself, Matt,” you shot back, shaking my head. “Not everything I do revolves around you. You’re not the center of my universe.”

“Really?” he countered, stepping closer, his voice low and biting. “Because you’ve been pushing my buttons since the day you moved in.”

You laughed bitterly. “Pushing your buttons? You barely talk to me unless it’s absolutely necessary. You ignore me half the time, and now suddenly you care who I talk to at a party?”

“I don’t ignore you,” he argued, though his voice faltered slightly.

“Could’ve fooled me,” you muttered, crossing your arms. “You act like I don’t exist, and then the second someone else gives me attention, you get all possessive. What is your deal, Matt?”

His jaw tightened, and for a moment, he didn’t say anything. But his silence only fueled your anger.

“You know what? Maybe you should go back to ignoring me,” you said, your tone cold. “At least then I don’t have to deal with your mood swings.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t have to if you didn’t make everything so complicated,” he shot back, his voice sharp.

You laughed humorlessly. “Oh, I’m the complicated one? You’re the one acting like some jealous, overprotective—”

“Because it pisses me off seeing you with other guys, alright?” he snapped, cutting you off. His voice was loud enough to echo slightly in the hallway.

You froze, his words hanging in the air between the two of you like a live wire.

“You’re jealous,” you said quietly, almost disbelieving.

“Yeah,” he admitted, his voice dropping as he stepped closer. “I’m jealous. Happy now?”

“No, I’m not happy!” you exclaimed, your emotions boiling over. “Because you have no right to be jealous, Matt. You’ve treated me like I’m invisible for weeks, and now suddenly you care? You don’t get to do this to me.”

He exhaled harshly, raking a hand through his hair again as his eyes searched mine. “You think I don’t care about you?” he asked, his voice softer but no less intense. 

His eyes searched yours, and for a moment, it felt like you both were teetering on the edge of something neither of us could name.

“Well all you do is keep your distance from me, what am I supposed to think?” you shot back, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and something you couldn't quite name.

He didn’t answer, his eyes locked on yours with an intensity that made your breath catch.

“What am I supposed to think, Matt?” you demanded, my voice breaking slightly. “Because it sure as hell doesn’t feel like friendship.”

Matt’s gaze dropped to your lips for a split second, and your breath hitched. The space between you felt charged, electric, like something was about to snap.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Chris’s voice rang out, breaking the moment.

You and Matt jumped apart like you’d been caught doing something you shouldn’t.

Chris and Nick stood at the end of the hallway, both holding beers and wearing identical expressions of confusion and amusement.

“What’s going on here?” Chris asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing,” Matt said quickly, his voice cold as he stepped back.

“Doesn’t look like nothing,” Nick chimed in, smirking.

“Mind your own business,” Matt muttered, brushing past them without another word.

Chris watched him go, then turned back to you. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you said, forcing a smile. “Just needed some air.”

Nick tilted his head, studying me for a moment. “You sure?”

“I’m fine,” you insisted, brushing past them and heading back toward the party.

But as you rejoined the crowd, your heart was still racing, and your mind was spinning. Whatever had just happened between you and Matt, it wasn’t over.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

things are getting interesting... sorry this is pretty short again :(

⭒ margot

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

@mattsdillon @hesvoid3434 

[flaneur001]

Leon Birthday Post

[Leon belongs to @14dayswithyou]

Ships in the night

Messages in a bottle, one, two, and ten

He wrote and rewrote, again and again

Then sent them dwindling across the shore,

To that love long lost, to the days of yore

***

Salty water splashed across your face. Sailing, rowing, further into this endless abyss. There, a few light years away, he sat, dipping his feet in the shallow mist of the Milky Way. 

You caught a shooting star and kissed it. Closing your eyes and wishing upon its dull shine. 

I want him to be Happy

With a gentle expression you watched him from the bow, as your vessel groaned and turned around. 

Such was the fate of the sun and the moon.

Destined to forever roam the universe. 

Fleeting ships in the night

***

You nervously checked your hair through the front camera on the screen, adjusting the bangs across your forehead once again.

Puffing out a breath, you scowled, strangely miffed at that cowlick that just wouldn’t stop sticking out.

Your eyes flitted around the expanse of your room. The lighting was dim, the music mellow, the cake was ready, and the candles—

Wait— the candles— 

Holy fudgesicles 

You let out an exasperated groan, roughly scavenging under your sheets, for the pack of orange candles, which was apparently lost now, well done Angel, just another splendid example of how useless you can be and— Your fingers closed around the slim box. You were about to let out a gleeful shout of, “AHA!” when—

*brring* *brrrring*

*beeeeep* *click*

Your eyes widened with mute horror when an amused chuckle paired with a low whistle fell on your—now red tipped—ears. All your efforts went up in smoke, the moment you realized that your ass was pointed towards the screen, and your bestfriend was currently getting an eyeful of it.

“Damn Darl, is that my cake right there? Cause I don’t really mind…”

Another snicker, like sultry teasing tendrils tickled up your spine and you bit your lip, wishing for the sheets to swallow you whole.

Straightening up, you hastily salvaged your mess of a bed, and hair, turning around with an expression you could only hope was a sheepish smile.

Is it too much to ask for one single perfect day—

Your eyes met. Topaz ones gleamed back at you like embers of soleil shining through his gaze. So warm and…

and…

You swallowed, managing a weak “Hi”, suddenly very shy to look at the face of the person, that you were used to texting every passing minute of the day.

“Hey sunfish!” Leon husked, a playful murmur. He waved his fingers, beads of his bracelet twinkled as if chiming a greeting at you. His hair was beautifully tousled, head tilted to the side, mischief still lingering on his face, as he exhaled, watching you with fondness and open adoration.

A beat of silence and he smirked, which in turn made you narrow your eyes at the brunet.

“Soooo, about that cake—“

“Hush!”

“But Darl—“

“Nuh uh!!”

“Atleast let me finish Sunfish—“

“NOT A PEEP!!!” 

Realizing he was at a stalemate, he raised his hands as a gesture of surrender, rolling his eyes in cheeky exasperation. 

“Alright! so cruel of you though, not humoring me even on my birthday”

“It's not your birthday yet, and I’m almost afraid of what you’ll get up to, if I gave you that much power.” You retorted, barely managing to suppress that grin that never seemed to leave you in his presence.

“Who said I need power? I’m a simple man, what if all I need is a teeny twiny wish?” He singsonged, leaning in towards the camera, flashing all his teeth in a Cheshire grin. Suspiciously sweet.

“—And what would that wish entail? Surely, there are strings attached…” You drawled, twisting the sheets between your fingers in a habitual fidget.

“Love the confidence in me Darl, 10/10—“

“Oh quiet…I haven’t forgotten the last time you asked for a favor and I ended up babysitting both Teo and Jae, just so you can hop off to play volley with your friends”

“Hardly a favor—“

You raised a brow, “While they were squabbling? and Teo was in one of his moods again…”

He sputtered, features melting into a slightly guilty pout, “When you put it like that, it makes me sound bad…”

“Babe, I’m not even at the bad part yet—“ You laughed, resisting the urge to squish his cheeks. Why did he have to look so cute?

He cringed and let his head thud back at the wall, briefly disappearing from the screen. You could hear his soft groan paired with a barely audible mumble, that you had to strain to listen to, “Spend the night with me”

“Huh?” 

Did you hear that correctly?

“I said,” he popped his head back into the screen, running a hand through his hair in a nervous tic, “…spend the night with me, here, on the call.”

You paused, mouth opening and closing like a fish gaping outside water, chewing, processing his words.

Mistaking your silence as hesitation, Leon pressed, looking intently at your face, forcing you into an eye contact, “It’s my Birthday afterall” he shrugged, downplaying the surge of emotions he was feeling tonight.

He waited, nibbling the inside of his cheeks. The sterile smell of the hospital and the late hour, washed over him like a heavy presence. Something he desperately didn’t want to be alone with. For once, he wanted to be the centre of your attention.

Tonight, he wanted to be selfish. Just tonight.

You cleared your throat, snapping out of your daze, and gave him a slow jerky nod, “Yeah…yeah. What are friends for”

He smiled, yet it didn’t reach his eyes. Didn’t make his gaze light up with joy like it always did around you. The sharp glare of the bright lights in the hospital visiting room, highlighted the dark circles under his eyes, and the subtle droop of his brow. 

You pulled the blanket over your feet, and eyed his thin layers with disapproval. It was cold tonight. Following your line of sight, he sighed, promptly grabbing a jumper from his bag and pulling it over his head, before you could nag him about it.

It was nearly 12:00 am now. You made an excuse, and paused the call to prepare the cake with the candles. Somehow your bright spirits from earlier had fizzled into a dull buzz. 

It wasn’t like you hadn’t spent the whole night talking to Leon before. Sometimes you wouldn’t even notice the sun creeping up, being so engrossed in silly conversations with your friend.

But something about the way he said it, like a demand, with notes of vulnerability playing under his skillful cheery pretense, felt like there was more to it.

Was it just you, or did he look disappointed with your answer…

The anxious part in you, trumpeted the fact that maybe he has his own secrets. And maybe he doesn’t see you as a good friend.

Setting the cake up on a tray, you forced a smile. 

Tonight’s about Him.

And your insecurities aren’t invited.

***

Friends

What does the word mean?

Is it a good scale to measure the amount of care you have for a person?

Leon doubted it. For him, there wasn’t a single word in his vocabulary that could measure the feelings he held for you.

How could he reduce it to a number, a title, when he himself had lost count ages ago. 

Yet it stung, whenever you called him that. It felt like he had played all the roles he had to play in your life, and everything he would do from henceforth will all add up and amount to this one meager, mediocre word— Friend.

So unimportant. One of many. Replaceable.

He sat up straighter, wiping a hand over his face. He was tired. Of pretending, of running in circles, of never getting to say the words that lingered at the tip of his tongue—

*Beeeep* *Click*

“Heyyy I’m back” You chirped, excitedly holding something behind your back, like a small mischievous cat.

He gulped, swallowing the feelings that wedged into his throat like a lump. The clock struck twelve. His birthday was here.

When you held up the cake giddily towards the screen, the orange hue from the lit candles coloring your cheeks, he couldn’t help but discreetly take a quick screenshot. 

“Quick blow the candles!!”

He chuckled, making a show of “blowing” the candles, while you clapped and sang the birthday song for him.

“Happy Birthday to dearest Leon! Happy birthdayyy to you!” You looked up at him, nostalgic tears shining in your eyes.

“This is so sweet. Thank you Darl” He murmured, overcome with a sudden epiphany.

 …love them?

I love them

“Make a wish”

“Alright, but I won’t tell you—“

“Hey i wasn’t gonna ask—“

“You were about to…I can see it on your face”

I want them to be Happy

***

Worn out letters with washed black ink

Bottles after bottles at the ocean’s brink

You sat and perused the mysterious tome

The words singing a forgotten tune

Of a lover’s song that surpassed all time

And plucked at your heart with its melancholy rhyme

[glitchthedemon]

Incorrect Undertale AU Quotes

Dream: Hey Cross, when’s your birthday? Cross: Why? So you can look up my natal chart? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me?? Dream: …so I know when to tell you “Happy Birthday”…?

[felitomkinson]

binged 160+ chapters of dandadan in like 3 days… ough

[e77y]

Glad I’m starting therapy so soon after moving out ☝️ I am already feeling the helplessness and loneliness

[cookiescr]

I saw your post about your fear of not being good enough as an artist and I just wanted to say that I really love your art style and have been following your blog for multiple years now, whenever your work comes up in my feed it makes me really happy. I always want to commission something when I see your comms come up but right now I'm out of work just trying to make it through the next couple months of school. I think your work is beautiful and I hope you don't give up! If you want to raise your prices I think your work is well worth it and I really do wish I was in a place to donate or commission, keep fighting! Thank you so much for the beauty you bring to the world, myself and I'm sure countless others really appreciate it!!

I’m sorry for the late reply anon but I appreciate this ask a lot

[akkivee]

FACTS HAYAMA-SAN!!!!!!!! SO TRUE YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

[crybaby-bkg]

I forgot to say something earlier bc I had work to do but I had a dream last night that Shigaraki was stalking me and tryna kill me but then gojo came out of nowhere to save me and like. good lordt. that dream felt so REAL but ONLY when it came to gojo???? like it felt more like a memory than a dream and he looked and felt so realistic and I woke up so sad omg I miss him </3

[rosicheeks]

oh yes you were at court! i forgot that was at the start of that post lmao. i've been to court twice when i was super young for drinking underage and then smoking lool it was so boring and long and shit but thankfully you were just there for moral support, i hope it wasen't such a bad thing your friend had to deal with! I remember seeing you post about moving but i forget if it was TO or AWAY from your parents but that clears it up. I totally get you on that though, i'm living at home right now and i feel kind of similar about not feeling comfortable in your own home. Its a bit different for me, but similar enough. Hell my stepdad even sleeps in the living room too! hes always done that so ive always felt like i had to be on eggshells when night time hit. I used to sneak smoking in the backyard back in the day myself, i got caught once when i was in highschool he made me throw all my pieces out which sucked big time. ahhh i love that, art! you should totally show more stuff on here too, at least if you're comfortable and its not stuff you'd wanna sell, i would absolutely love to see any of it 🖤i've dabbled in writing poems and things i planned to make songs, although only recently. I've always wanted to be a musician but my attempts at learning guitar over the years have never ended up lasting long and i try to learn singing but i just dont really think i can. plus i was always afraid of self expression so i never wrote until a few years ago. i still do, because music is so important to me (which is why i did pick 🎤!) and it makes me so happy but yeah. i have 2 shows im headed to in a few months even so im so excited 🥰my day though has been so boring, i mostly played video games and watched youtube videos. watched another episode of a show i've been watching called Silo, which i absolutely love. im so surprised you had room in your tags still after myself lmao, but i do that same thing i always talk in the tags! also i'm giving you tons of hugs and kisses 😘🥰 - 🎤

Hi hi hi ☺️ how are you doing lovely? 🥰

[rav3nmuse]

Music Suggestion While Reading

OFF THE TABLE ┊ ꒰ gojo satoru x female reader ft. nanami kento ꒱ content ༄ kinkshame gojo? gojo’s kink is being kinkshamed, exhibitionism, voyeurism, public sex, humiliation, fingering, dirty talk, spit kink, mild degradation, panty stuffing, three’s a party not a crowd, nanami is there to watch, edging, spit kink w.c ༄ est. 6.2k synopsis ༄ “gojo satoru’s guidebook to public sex, rule #1: getting caught will not stop me from busting a nut.” note from satorhime ༄ staring at gojo’s pretty fingers will do this to you, i swear. i’ve been so excited to write a bit of gojo so i hope you all enjoy this guy being a public menace, don’t call the police aha. as always, reblogs and comments = kisses and hugs!!!!  ♡   

gojo satoru had deactivated his infinity.

no one else noticed, of course. they didn’t notice the subtle shift in the atmosphere. didn’t feel the tiny rift in the fabric of space being snapped back into place. or the defeated howl of an enemy of the six eyes kicking rocks because they’d missed the opportunity to clobber the insufferable idiot over the head. most would only realize it if they tried to strike him and the blow landed, or if he gave one of his enthusiastically unwanted hugs and you felt the warmth of his biceps enveloping you.

though you’d need a top university professor to understand even the basic science behind his inherited, limitless powers, you could never miss it.

you, an empath, also knew this meant trouble. gojo usually wore the technique like one would a warm fur coat during a blizzard. a second skin, if you may.

so yes, this definitely meant trouble.

but for who?

all sorcerers ( excluding beloved students )  operating from the tokyo and kyoto campuses have been summoned to a secure location for a meeting of utmost importance. the meeting of utmost importance? principle gakuganji’s birthday dinner at a michelin star, rooftop restaurant. you have to admit, the paid night off from exorcising curses is nice and the place is exquisitely beautiful. romantic, warm lighting illuminates dark oak tables and lush zen gardens. minimalistic, artful plates are served at a price that would make your credit card read the check and weep tears of debt.

the setting is pleasant and quiet with sorcerers you could almost call friends drinking responsibly and chatting comfortably. or it would’ve been quiet, if not for your boyfriend laughing himself hoarse at the thought of the higher-ups bribing sorcerers with a night off just to get someone to attend a party for the unlikable principle of the kyoto campus. he laughed himself into the other sorcerers ignoring him completely, so now his attention is completely on you. 

needless to say, you’ve been feeling wary the entire time. you know that when he didn’t have something to stimulate that big brain of his— especially during events like this— he’s a complete hellion to society. and society, in this scenario, is always you.

oh, no.

it’s funny how you already know what he’s up to. it’s even funnier how, at first, he kept you at an arm’s length, in fear of you orbiting too close and seeing too much. now, you know things about him. sickeningly sweet details like his favorite dessert, his greatest fear, the brand of shampoo he uses.

and most importantly, his nastiest fucking kink.

gojo satoru’s guidebook to public sex, rule #1:

getting caught will not stop me from busting a nut.

Keep reading